The warmest winter
by Taaaaami. q
Summary: Jon Snow has lived in the shadows for almost his whole life, being seen only as a bastard. But when he reaches the Wall, a new future and possibilities are brought upon him. There he meets a woman in disguise, trying to find her own way and things will turn out to be different than he thought they would be. Can love win or will his vows be stronger? Jon/OC
1. Falling Snow

**Hello, everyone. I am a huge Jon Snow fan. So I came up with a few ideas and this is one of them!  
****I hope you guys enjoy it!**

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Chapter one – Falling Snow

**| Jon POV |**

The pure and white snow fell on the ground, cleaning the once blooded grass and making it seems like a battle had never occurred there.

I walked on the forest north the Wall, coming back from a battle against the wildlings that got too near and threatened us. My companions were packing our almost inexistent supplies and our tents, while I kept watch.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, feeling my lungs aching from the cold that after each day became even stronger, if it was possible.

My ears were attracted by a sound, soft and gentle sound, like a flute. And following my ears, I was guided by the sound.

It was growing near and louder, but even more gentle and beautiful, but suddenly, it stopped. I felt like I was being watched.

In a split of second, my eyes were open once again, looking around to track the source of that beautiful melody, and behind some distant trees I saw a small shadow running away, it was definitely a human shadow.

Before I could even register what was going on, it was already gone, leaving me alone under the falling snow, dumbfounded.

Still confused and with the melody resonating on my ears, I returned to the camp, where my brothers awaited for me so we could get back to the Wall. Our cold icy home.

We weren't that far and after three hours the giant Wall could be seen, I sighed deeply and relieved, we had returned alive.

It was rare for me to go out, since I was only a steward, but most of the rangers were out and we were short on people, so I got sent with some others.

We entered the gates and put the horses on the stable so they could rest. It wasn't snowing anymore, but they had worked hard out here enduring the bad weather.

When I got back to the training yard, I saw Lord Commander Mormont talking to someone I couldn't figure out who was, I had never seem someone like that on the Black Castle before.

"Snow, come here." He said, after I stood there for minutes just staring. I obeyed, without looking at the stranger.

"This is Lee Peis, one of our most valuable rangers; he just came back from a mission north the Wall."

I looked at the man standing next to me. He was significantly shorter than me, barely reaching my chin; he wore a heavy and dark cloak with a hood. He looked up to me, revealing to be using a mask that only showed his icy cold blue eyes.

"Snow? As Winterfell's Snow?" Lee asked, his voice muffled by the mask and a little rough. "Yes, I am the bastard of Winterfell." I said, my voice cold.

"I didn't call you bastard, boy. I asked because I know your uncle, Benjen." I was taken back, my uncle had gone missing and for weeks we didn't hear about him.

"I met him here on the Wall, a great man and a great ranger. I saw him for the last time when he left for his mission, before going missing. We met a few kilometers north and parted our ways to continue with our own mission."

"So you have nothing on him?" Lord Commander asked, gaining Lee's attention. "No, I went to several villages, but no one heard a thing, some villages were abandoned."

"We will talk more later; go rest for now." Commander said, walking away to his chambers. Lee was beginning to walk away also, but stopped.

"I am sorry about your uncle, Snow." And walked away.

Now that our mission outside was over, I was back to my duties as steward. I was preparing dinner and the other Brothers were starting to enter the dining hall. At one corner, I saw Peis sat alone, taking the gloves out.

I was done with my duties serving the Commander and was free to eat now. Sam had joined me in the kitchen; we prepared our meal and took a seat in one of the tables.

I saw that Peis was still there alone.

"Hey, did you see the ranger that got here today? He is smaller than me. Can he fight that way? And his mask… It creeps me out." Sam said and I just listened quietly.

"You shouldn't talk like that…" I said quietly, eyeing Lee in the corner. "Remember you were picked on all the time."

I saw Lee getting up and leaving the dining hall, and by the frightened look on Sam's face, he saw too.

"Do you think he heard?" He asked, freaking out. "Calm down, but I think he did."

"Oh, boy. Oh, boy." I ignored Sam's whining and looked at the door where the unknown Brother had just left. Something about him didn't seem right.

~\~/~

Even after we were designed as stewards, Sam and I kept practicing our sword fighting, so we were on the practicing yard, his wooden sword in hand as he tried to hold it on the right position.

"No, Sam, your feet are in the front position, you will lose balance that way. Open your legs a little bit more and put your right foot in front of the left one." I instructed, watching him trying his best to accomplish my orders.

More people were arriving to the yard and I could see they were following Peis, who just kept walking.

"Someone like you to be a ranger is impossible. How did you buy your way in? I can kick your ass in a second. You are staining the name of the rangers." A big guy said, mocking the small man in front of him, but received no answer. I remember seeing him on our mission yesterday, he was one of the rangers left here on TheWall.

"Nothing to say, huh? I should have thought so. A coward like you probably don't even speak properly." No answer again. I could see his expression changing from a mocking one to an angered.

"Not going to answer? Be a man!"

He reached for Peis arm, but he was quick and pushed the arm away with the palm of his hand and kept walking.

"Did you just touch me?!" The biggest yelled, taking out his sword. Trouble was on its way.

Peis had stopped walking and turned to face him. "What are you going to do with this sword, boy? Shove it up your ass where it belongs?" Peis asked, making me struggle not to laugh, I could see that some of the other men were struggling too.

"You will see!" He yelled, swinging the sword in Peis direction, but he easily dodged it, taking a step to the right. The sword this time was moving horizontally toward Peis body.

For a second I thought he was going to be cut, but suddenly the sword met his hand and stopped. Normally a thrust like that could cut almost anything in half, but nothing happened to his hand.

"You said I was going to see something. Then show me, I am waiting." Not moving much, Peis moved his free hand forward, touching the attacker chest with strength enough to make him fly backwards.

"If you have a big mouth, you should at least fulfill your promises. You do not deserve to protect the people."

The big man didn't dare to move, he was in shock, and so was everyone else. A man smaller than Sam had made a guy with over 6'7'' fly back with only a touch on his chest. Who was that guy?

"Snow." Peis called, not looking at me, but beginning to walk again. "Lord Commander said you will be on watch duty tonight." And he left.

"See? See? That guy creep me out! If he heard what I said, he will kill me!" Sam said behind me, once again freaking out.

**| Lee POV |**

I was avoiding any conflicts once I returned to the Black Castle. But there were always a guy with a superiority complex that wanted to rule the world. Little did they know that they are the first ones to die out there.

I made my way to my bedroom after letting Snow know of his task tonight, but I haven't told him I was to join him. Lord Commander Mormont seemed to think I would be a good influence to the boy.

I closed the door and locked it once I found myself in the security of my bedroom. I sat on the bed, taking a deep breath before removing my mask.

No one could know my secret. Who I really am.

I touched my face with my fingers, tracing down every inch, I had no mirror and this was the only way I could remind myself of what I looked like. I was the only one there that could know my true identity and no one had ever come close to finding it out.

My big secret… The fact that I am a woman.

A woman working on The Wall. And ironically, no one figured it out; even after the three years I had been working here. If someone discovers it, my head will be on the ground.

But they said it themselves, It doesn't matter who we once were, lords, thieves, bakers, now we are men of the Night's Watch, I am a man of the Night's Watch.

It was getting chillier and the dark was getting darker by the minute, night has come. So I put on my mask before leaving my room to have dinner. As usual, I took the table on the corner, alone, and ate in peace.

After eating, I made my way up to the watch's place, on top of the Wall, it was so peaceful and beautiful there, but so dangerous.

I sat near the fire, watching the horizon, when I heard someone approaching.

"Peis. I didn't know you would be joining me." Jon Snow.

"Well, I couldn't ruin the surprise. Hope you don't mind, Commander asked me to. Two people have more eyes than one, he said."

"No, I don't mind…" His voice was quiet, and he got closer to the fire, sitting on the ground next to me, but keeping his distance.

"I won't push you off the Wall, Snow." I said, smiling behind my mask. "We both know you are more than capable."

"You saw the little show today, huh? I hope it entertained you." I joked, but his voice seemed to take our conversation seriously.

"I don't mind what they say. I am more than capable of living out there alone, and I've proven that. I am a man of the Night's Watch, we all are, it doesn't matter where we came from, how our body is, what our name is."

"Some of our names seem to matter." He said, and I knew he was referring to the name Snow.

"To me, yours doesn't. You can fight, you can survive, you can protect. You are a man of the Night's Watch, Snow. This isn't Winterfell anymore. I prefer to be a bastard than a thief or murderer."

I was being sincere.

**| Jon POV |**

Peis seemed sincere and I felt no lies on his words. He was facing the horizon and I looked at him, lost for words.

"Probably you haven't heard it before, judging by your silence." He said. Truth. "No, no one ever told this to me before."

"Don't worry, Snow. You have friends here, I can tell. That boy you were talking on the dining hall yesterday night, he seems to be a good friend." He had heard us talking, damn.

"I am sorry about him."

"You shouldn't. He has the right to be scared, we all have."

I found myself trying to figure out how old he was. He didn't seem that old, but his words were proving it wrong; they were wise and friendly, surprisingly enough.

"You really haven't heard anything about my uncle Benjen out there?" I asked, hoping he did.

"Sorry, no. But don't lose hope. That man is strong and he will turn out eventually." I sighed, it was easier said than done.

"It's going to snow…" He muttered and I looked up to the sky, there was nothing indicating the weather was going to change.

"The sky tells you're wrong." I said, looking again at Peis.

"Well, I know things that even the sky doesn't. It will snow." He sounded a little too sure of himself. But how could someone know more than the sky? There was no way.

I was wrong.

As the sun begun to come out, so did the snow. Peis was right, it was snowing.


	2. Not only swords can be used

**Here is chapter two! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
****Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones or A Song of Ice and Fire. If I did, a lot of things would be different.  
****One thing: I am making Jon a little older, he will be 17 instead of 14 like in the books and the series.**

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Chapter II – Not only swords can be used

**| Lee POV |**

Being back on the Wall was strange enough, but the circumstances made my return even stranger. I had not yet talked to someone other than the Lord Commander about my mission beyond the Wall. It was not pleasant. The poor new Brothers had no idea of what awaited for them.

The sun was beginning to appear when I came out of the bathhouse, my Brothers were now walking its way and I did my best to remain unseen, but they were quick enough to spot me.

"Look there, it's Peis. Bathing earlier so no one will see your little cock?" One guy on the group said, I didn't recognize them, possibly because of the time I was away. "I didn't want to make you embarrassed because mine is bigger." I answered and he scowled.

"Little piece of shit." The others around him here muffling laughter and that made him even angrier. So he advanced at me, hand closed into a fist to punch me, but I just dodged. Seeing me step to the side, he moved his arm sideway to knock me, but I just stooped, using my height as an advantage.

The others were coming too, to help their friend and I was surrounded…

"Stop." The cold and firm voice of Jon Snow called on the end of the hall. And apparently he was an authoritarian figure, since they backed away and ran, leaving me alone with Snow.

"Are you alright?" He asked his voice turning into one with concern. "Yeah. Thank you, knight in the shining armor." I joked and he laughed, looking at me. Something about his gray eyes always made me look right into them.

"But you sure are early. Have something do to?" I shook my head in response, beginning to walk, he joined me. "No, I just like to wake up early in the morning. Maybe I will train today."

"I don't see your sword." Jon said and I raised a brow, even though he couldn't see. "I don't need one to kick your ass." It was his time to raise an eyebrow.

"Really? So will you give me honor to a fight?" I found myself smiling, but yet, he couldn't see because of my mask, I was safe.

"Sure, My Lord." He groaned something and kept walking. We made our way to the kitchen, he had to prepare the Lord Commander breakfast.

I sat there while he prepared the meal, observing, until his friend, Sam I think, walked into the kitchen. "Jon! I was looking for you!" He said excitedly, but stopped when saw me looking his way.

"It is fine, Sam, he is ok." Jon didn't even look at his friend to answer, just kept cutting the bread. Sam joined us hesitantly.

"He is serious, boy, I won't kill you." I tried my best to hoarse my voice and at the same time keep it light.

"I heard what you said the other day, and I am glad some guys here have the common sense to fear me instead of trying to beat me in the bathhouse." Sam gave me a confused and questioning look.

"Some Brothers were picking on him, like they did to you." Snow answered and I turned to Sam. "So the knight in shining armor there helped you as well?"

The chubby boy couldn't help but laugh at my comment and smile as well; at least he feared me a little bit less.

"Jon does that; he helps the weak and helpless." I leaned against the table, my body turned to see Snow working while I sat in the bench.

"So… Peis, right? Where did you come from?" Sam asked, he seemed really friendly and probably tried to lighten the mood in the Wall by getting to know everyone. "Well, Sam… You can call me Lee, no need to be so formal. I lived in a village south the Wall; I guess I always wanted to protect people by coming here."

I could see in the corner of my eyes that Snow was paying attention to our conversation, even though he said nothing. "What about you, Sam?"

"My father said it was either the Wall or a riding accident, I guess I preferred living here." I felt sorry for him, the Wall was not like that at all, it was far from safe and a glorious life.

"Aah… I miss the girls…" He muttered, letting himself be soak into thoughts. I turned to Snow; he still looked right at me.

**| Jon POV |**

When Sam asked Peis why he had come to the Wall I turned immediately to look at him, not expecting an answer at all, it surprised me when he pondered, but did answer the question.

"Well, Sam… I lived in a village south the Wall; I guess I always wanted to protect people by coming here." So he always dreamt of coming here? Just like me…

"What about you, Sam?" Peis asked, looking directly at Sam, but my eyes didn't leave his masked face. "My father said it was either the Wall or a hiding accident, I guess I preferred living here."

"Aah… I miss the girls…" Sam added, and Peis turned to look at me, I didn't try to hide or turn away the fact that I had been staring. His cold blue eyes sparking intently and it met my own. It took me a few seconds to regain control and turn away to go back to my duties.

The Lord Commander breakfast soon was ready and I excused myself to deliver it to his quarters, leaving Sam with Peis.

I knocked on the door and the Lord Commander answered, taking the tray and closing the door again, I suppose he was busy with something and didn't like being interrupted.

I was feeling hungry, so made my way to the dining hall; most of my brothers were there, leaving almost no room to sit. I took some bread and oatmeal, one thing I missed about Winterfell was the food, so good and never repetitive like it was here.

Sam stood up and called me, waving his hand and I sighed before making my way to him, he was so flashy sometimes. His side was occupied by Pyp, so I sat next to Peis, who was still there to my surprise.

Sam and Pyp were talking about something, by I concentrated myself on my meal and sometimes looked at the man next to me, he had already finished eating, but still stood there silent.

"Problem, Snow?" He asked, low so only I could hear. "I just… Didn't imagine you sitting here enduring Sam…" I replied, also in a low tone.

"Life surprises us, Snow… Meet me in thirty minutes in the training yard." He patted my shoulder while getting up and leaving.

Half an hour passed and I made my way to the training yard, Peis waited there, this time with a sword safe in his sheath. He sat on the floor, two wooden swords in front of him, he looked up.

"Hey there, boy." I offered a hand so he could get up, and he accepted it, I noticed his hands were significantly smaller than mine and his gloves were hard and different than any I've ever seen.

"Like my gloves? They are special ones. No sword has ever cut them." Peis took one glove out, throwing at me, and I caught it. It seemed like iron gloves, or some kind of metal.

"I won a few years back, before coming to the wall, my father gave to me. It was exported from somewhere really far away, I don't know where or what it is made of, but it helps me a lot."

I gave him the glove back and he put it on, looking at me. "So, you want to fight? Until one yield?" I nodded while getting in my position, Peis just stood there, looking while I took a wooden sword.

"Oh boy, you are going to be sorry…" He whispered before positioning himself, without sword, just his hands in front of his body, which was strange.

I attacked first, aiming my sword to his arm, but he dodged it easily, it was obvious that he was faster than me, probably because of the height difference.

I attacked again, this time vertically and hit the air inches to his left, Peis had dodged again and his palm met my back, not strongly, so I just ignored it, turning myself to strike again, horizontally. Attack that was dodged again, as he just bent, his palm meeting my right arm this time, without strength.

"Come on, Snow. Show me what you got." He yelled, teasing me, but I kept calm and went for another attack, this time faster and stronger, he dodged and hit my wrist with the palm of his hand.

I looked to Peis's face and he stepped back, looking at me, by the look in his eyes, he was smirking inside the mask.

"It is over, Snow." He announced and I felt confused. Over? How this could be over if I was standing without a cut or even tired?

That's when I felt my arm fail and the sword fall from my hand to the ground, hitting the snow with a muffled puff. A painful strike hit my back and I fell to my knees, looking up to Peis, who still looked at me with the same expression in his eyes.

I tried to get back, but my arm didn't respond me, and neither did my back. "What have you done?!" I shouted angrily.

"I told you I need no sword to fight. Just my hands are enough to put a man bigger than me on his knees." I looked at him with the anger increasing inside me by the second and the pain wasn't making it any easier.

The few times he had hit me had done this? But there was barely impact at all. Peis must have seen the realization across my face, because he kneeled down in front of me.

"Exacly, Jon. The places I hit you were no ordinary places. You see… Our body is formed by points, some vitals and some less important. With one simple touch, I can make your arm useless."

I felt his hand on my arm, the same place where he had hit before and the control I had over my arm was restored, but my hand felt numb. The next touch was on my wrist and the numbness went away.

"I can take your pain; I can increase it, just with a simple touch in the right place." He pressured his hand on my back, and the pain went away and so did my anger.

"Where did you learn this?" I asked, low tone, looking right into his eyes. "My father taught me." I felt unsatisfied with his answer and even frustrated, but now I could see why he was a Ranger and one of the bests, according to Lord Commander Mormont.

He kept kneeled down in front of me, and I realized I wasn't blinking much and looked right into his eyes. It seemed to be happening a lot lately.

"I can teach you if you want." He said, sitting on the floor clumsily and I sat too. "I don't think I would learn. I am good with a sword."

"I see… Well, I can use a sword if you'd like. I bet I am better than you with that too." His tone was a mocking one and I laughed for a second before standing up.

"Ok, show me what you got." I had my sword back in hand and Peis lazily stood up, taking a wooden sword too.

He bowed slightly. "My Lord." I mocked once more before positioning himself.

"Come." He ordered and I obeyed, wilding my sword and striking with it the faster I could, I had to win this time.

Even though he was fast, the sword seemed to be heavy for him, even it being a wooden one. My attacks were stronger and each time he defended, he backed away one step.

After all, I was better with a sword.

He bent and stepped away from the wall that was nearing his back, and I turned quickly to dodge one attack that came my way.

I laughed, it was fun having someone other than Sam train with me, and it was important that Peis was better than Sam with a sword and without it, made it even more fun and challenging.

Peis tripped in a rock hidden in the snow and had to try his best to keep standing, but that was an opening.

I rushed forward, pushing him against a tree, my sword touching his neck, while my other arm and my body pressed his body, leaving no room for him to escape.

"Do you yield?" I asked, trying to sound cold and surly. "No." I was a little taken back because of his answer, but didn't back away. The blade touched his neck with more firmness, but his eyes were defying and he looked straight into mine.

"Do… You… Yield?" I asked once more, pausing after each word this time. I heard footsteps and a gasp, but didn't turn to see who it was.

"Never." I was a little frustrated. How could he defy me when I am the one with sword against his neck?

I leaned closer, my body even more pressed against his small one and my faces inches from his, but he looked even more defiant.

"Jon!" I heard Sam's voice and turned for a second to look at him. My mistake, this one second led Peis to kick me between the legs and the world went black.

It took me a few seconds before feeling the excruciating pain hitting my body, beginning with my legs and going to my head. I hit the ground, my hands reaching my injured part in a desperate act to try to ease the pain.

"Há! I said I would never yield. Do you yield?!" I could see that Peis had kneeled next to me when my sight came back, his sword pointing to my neck. I could see one drop of blood falling from his, probably that is what caused Sam to yell.

"I yield." I said finally, between groans of pain. "But you cheated."

Peis stood up, laughing happily with himself. Sam came running to us, looking at him. "You are hurt!" He said and I felt bad for hurting him.

"Don't worry; it's just a small cut. I guess your friend here really wanted to win. That's two wins for me, Snow." He blinked one eye before leaving.

I still felt every single part of my body aching, with a sigh I just let myself rest on the snow.


	3. Lies

**Another chapter is up! Thank you so much everyone for reading! It means the world to** **me**.  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones or A Song of Ice and Fire, if I did, I would do so many things differently. **

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Chapter III – Lies

**| Jon POV |**

Sam, Lee and I sat on top of the Wall, looking at the surroundings, well, mostly Lee and me, since Sam's sight wasn't a good one. Lee sat reading a book, while Sam rested near the fire and I just observed, sometimes looking at my brothers and other times looking to the horizon.

"Aaah… Girls…" Sam muttered, a happy smile appearing on his face, he was probably dreaming about a girl.

"God, that one needs to get laid." Lee commented, shaking his head. "We can't, we swore an oath." I replied.

"I know that, boy. I did the same, remember? But that doesn't change the fact that this one needs to fuck someone's brains out, just enough for him to stop annoying me about how girls are pretty."

Sam jumped, apparently something in his dreams did go as expected and he breathed heavily. "Are you finished?" Lee asked and Sam blushed. "Sorry…"

It took him a few moments to regain his composure and sit straight again, when he did, he turned to Lee.

"Tell me, Lee… I've never had a girl. Jon almost did, but couldn't. And you? Have you been with a girl?" I looked at Lee, interested in his reply.

"I am not interested in girls, I prefer boys, and that is why I joined the Night's Watch. A lot of pretty boys in need, where would be better than here?" Sam gasped and backed away, pressing his back on the wall, but Lee laughed.

"Joking. I did not bed a girl, sorry, pal." Sam sighed relieved and went to his previous position by the fire. I still stared at Lee. "So, Snow, almost, huh?"

"He didn't know where to put it." Sam said, laughing. "I do know where to put it!" I shouted angrily. Why did we always have to talk about girls?

"He is too honorable to screw a whore, Sam. Or maybe he is the one into boys." I slapped Lee in the back of his head because of the comment, but he just laughed.

"Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist."

Lee had become a friend, we would eat together, train together, stay in watch together, and sometimes he even helped me out in the kitchen. But something about him did not seem right, like he had a big secret.

"Lee, may I ask you something?" Sam said, getting near the masked man. "Sure, what?"

"Why do you wear a mask?" I had been wondering that too, but never got the courage, or perhaps just wasn't that invasive, to ask.

"If I tell you, I would have to throw you off the Wall." Sam took it seriously again and gasped. "Again, joking. I was born with a defect, if someone sees it, they will never sleep again. I guess I am a broken thing."

I remembered Tyrion Lannister, he had a soft spot for bastards, cripples and broken things. Maybe Lee could fit in that category.

"Oh, you can't be that ugly." Sam said sympathetically, probably feeling sorry for Lee now. But I stood silent.

"You are kind, Sam. You shouldn't be here. You should be a Maester, or maybe even teaching. But not here…" His voice was full with melancholy and sounded less husky than before and less masculine too.

"Our shift is over, guys." I called when the next watcher appeared out of the elevator. We got up and got ready to leave.

It was getting dark and I had to prepare the Lord Commander's supper. Sam went to his dorm while Lee followed me to the kitchens.

"The bastard son of the traitor." Alliser Thorne said while entering the kitchen, both me and Lee turned to look at him.

Earlier that day I had discovered that my father was being charged for treason and was locked up in King's Landing. It killed me to know I was here while my sisters were trapped with the Queen in that rat's nest.

Without thinking, I jumped and punched Thorne on the face, but couldn't do more when I Lee held me back with all his strength.

"Jon, stop!" He yelled, holding me from behind, while I fought back to keep hurting the man. I moved my arm in reflex and ended up hitting Lee, who flew back into a table. Then Commander Mormont entered the kitchen and I stopped.

"What is going on here?! Thorne, get out. And you… I told you not to do anything stupid!" He yelled at me once Thorne was out of the kitchen, I looked at the ground ashamed.

"You are grounded to your quarters, go." He yelled and I left, without looking back.

**| Lee POV |**

My back hurt when I hit the table behind me. Jon was really out of control. Luckily Lord Commander was quick and got there in time before he did something even more stupid. He deserved to be grounded.

I finished eating and felt sorry for Jon who hadn't eaten dinner, so I prepared him a plate and decided to take it to his quarters.

I knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer and heard Ghost, his direwolf sniffing the door before it opened.

"Come in…" He said softly, letting me inside, I entered and the door closed, Ghost eyeing me suspiciously.

"I brought you supper…" I left the place on top of his bed and sat on a chair by it, not looking at him. My back still hurt.

"I am sorry about before… I overreacted. Did I hurt you?" Jon talked while sitting on the bed and taking the plate to eat. I shook my head, lying of course, since it had hurt like hell. "Thank you for the meal…"

"It was nothing. You really should control yourself… People are going to blame you for what they believe your father did, but you can't let yourself be influenced by it." I didn't believe Lord Eddard Stark was guilty, he was a noble and good man, there was no way in hell he would betray the King.

Jon probably noticed my way of thinking, as he smiled thankfully at me, I smiled back, but he couldn't see, of course.

He was finishing eating when Ghost growled to the door and both of us turned to look at him. "What is it, Ghost?" He asked, getting up, I followed.

"Is something out there?" He asked once more and Ghost whined. "Let him out, Jon." I said, looking at the boy and then to the direwolf.

He opened the door and Ghost ran outside, Jon and me following quickly, he stopped in front of Lord Commander's quarters and barked strongly. In seconds, Jon and I had our swords in hand, prepared for what we may find.

He knocked on the door. "Lord Commander! Are you there?" Jon called, but no answer came, then he pushed it open, looking around.

Before we had even completely entered the room, a man completely white with blue eyes and blue lips came onto us. A white walker.

Jon pierced its chest, but there was no effect. "We need fire." I yelled, looking around to find something, but the room was deprived of anything useful. It grabbed Jon by the throat, pinning his back against the cold wall.

I swung my sword and chopped its arm off, yes, it is an it, not a he, White Walkers are no longer humans, they are monsters.

Jon slid down the wall, gasping for air. The loss of an arm didn't seem to affect the monster that much, seeing that it just pulled the sword out of its own chest to use as a weapon. I felt myself panicking, fearing the worse could happen and I was ready to jump in front of the sword at any second.

The White Walker was about to swing the sword to hit Jon's heart when Lord Commander appeared on the door, holding a lamp, and before I could think it through, I got it bare handed, holding for a little too long for my liking, and threw at the White Walker, that caught on fire and died again.

"What was that?!" Jon yelled, looking at me. I held my wrist, in pain, what a great time to not be wearing gloves.

"Lee!" He stopped in front of me, looking at my burned hand, I tried to smile and reassure him. "It is nothing, will go away soon."

Lord Commander was in shock, staring at us.

"We need to take care of your hand." Jon sounded concerned, but it didn't matter how much I tried to fake it didn't hurt, it did, like hell.

"Go take care of his hand, Snow." Lord Commander ordered, returning to his good sense. Jon was holding my good hand in a slip of second and dragged me to the kitchen, forcing me to sit on one bench so he could take a look on my hand.

I looked intently at him while he worked. I had panicked. When I saw him getting attacked I panicked. Why? Why did I panic like that? He is just a friend… Friends die all the time… But that wasn't the first time I had panicked around him…

On training, when he got too close, I panicked and kicked him on the jewels. I need to calm down… There is no room for panic when you are a sworn brother of the Night's Watch.

I flinched when a strange liquid touched my hand and I tried to pull it away, but Jon held my wrist to keep my hand still, I let out a small cry.

"Sorry." He apologized gently but kept touching my burned hand, until he finally wrapped it with bandages. "You will be fine…"

"Good, if I lose my hand, I will blame it on you." I tried to joke, but the look on his face stopped me. He seemed really concerned and almost suffering.

"Lee…" He called, barely more than a whisper. "Yes?"

"We are friends, right?" He asked, I had to lean closer to hear, he was looking me in the eyes and I felt like they could read me. "Yes, what is your point?"

"If we are friends… You would not hide something from me, would you?" Was he suspecting something? How could he? I never showed something, any signs, nothing!

"You are not just my friend… You are my brother… I would not hide anything from you, Jon." My heart ached from lying. He was my friend and brother. That is why I could never tell him my secret. It hurt me so much to lie.

Jon smiled and I leaned back, looking at my hand. "I think it will be better in a week or so, don't worry."

"Well, that gives me more time inside the Wall, so I won't die that soon. You are stuck with me." I joked, but Jon frowned and glared at me.

"Oh, come on, I was joking!" He kept frowning and glaring. "Ok, ok. Sorry."

"You are not going to die. Not you, not Sam, or me. We are going to live." He stated seriously and I looked away.

"We are all going to die someday, Jon. Winter is coming, after all, for all of us. I should go, don't punch anyone while I am sleeping." I touched his arm as I got up for a reason I don't know why.

And left him alone.

That night, in the comfort of my room, without masks, without lies, was the first time I let myself cry to sleep. Because of the winter? Because of my lies? Because of Jon almost getting killed? I don't know. But I cried.

**| Jon POV | **

He lied to me. I know. When I looked him in the eyes and asked if he would hide something from me, he lied.

But why? Why would someone lie so easily? Why would Lee, a friend, lie to me? I felt hurt and confused.

It shouldn't bother me so much. But yet, it did. Lee, my brother, was hiding something and by the looks of it, it was really big.

Perhaps it had something to do with his mask. Did he hurt someone and was hurt back because of that? Did he do something and is being pursued because of his crimes? What is his secret?

I felt frustrated for not knowing what it was, and even more frustrated because Lee lied to me. He had saved my life, but still…

Frustrated and with a million theories appearing in my mind, I finally let myself sleep hearing the fire crepitating quietly.


	4. Truth

**Here it is, another chapter.  
****Thank you so much for reading!  
****I hope you all enjoy it!**

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Chapter IV – Truth

**| Lee POV | **

Two days passed since the White Walker attack and I had been avoiding Jon ever since. I sat alone in the dining hall, I trained alone and stood on watch alone, hoping he wouldn't notice my absence.

I was sitting in a corner of the training yard, reading a book when Sam came up, smiling at me. "Hey, Lee." He sat next to me and I looked to him.

"Hi, Sam. Need something?" He looked curiously at the book, it had old tales. "Why aren't you eating and training with us anymore?" Ouch, straight to the point.

"I can't train because of my hand and I haven't seen you guys in the dining hall." I lied, not completely; I really can't train with my hand still burned.

"Oh, I should have guessed. Jon was worried too." He was? I felt something inside me grow and my heart quicken.

"I see… Don't worry. Everything will be back to normal soon. I actually am going hunting today, I think I am still able to catch something." He looked happy when I told him the news. Sam was actually one of the few persons I know that can be happy in the darkest time.

"That's great! Will someone go with you?" He looked at my hand, worried.

"I don't know, probably, because of my hand. When the time has come, I will know, but don't worry; I will hunt south the Wall." Sam looked relieved and sighed shortly, smiling at me; I patted his head with my good hand in response.

"I should return to my duties. I will see you later at dinner?" He asked, getting up to leave. "Sure, I will be there." Or maybe not, but who knew? I waved before he left, then returning to my book.

When time came, I got up from my reading spot and made my way to the armory. I took a bow and several arrows, they would work better than a sword in this case, but I would take one anyway.

A horse was waiting, a steward had him ready for me and I mounted, not waiting to see if someone was going to accompany me, I wasn't in the mood to hang around a cocky ranger.

As soon as I got out of the Black Castle to the road, I saw a horse; the rider had his back to me. "Are you coming hunting?" I called, making the person turn around.

"Jon…" Good, just what I needed. I was running away from him and there he was, baby sitting me.

"Yes, I am. Your hand is not completely healed yet." I decided to just ignore his presence and get this over with as soon as possible. The faster we got something, the faster we would be back and I could hide again.

I didn't wait for him, just kicked my horse and entered the woods south the Wall, that place reminded me of home…

Once we were surrounded by the trees, I got out of my horse, tying him to a tree; I kneeled down to the ground, checking the grass under the snow. There were eaten spots; animals had been wandering around this area.

"There are animals around here. Can Ghost sniff them to see to which direction they went?" I asked, keeping my tone as indifferent as possible.

"Ghost, check the area." Jon told the direwolf, who immediately begun sniffing the ground and pointed south.

"Thank you, Ghost." I caressed the beautiful animal on the head while passing him, one hand on the bow and the other on the arrow, ready to shoot if something came in sight despise the painful protest from my right hand. I heard Jon's muffled footsteps behind me.

A few feet ahead a deer was eating the grass, not imagining that seconds later an arrow would hit his heart and he would meet the cold ground.

We approached the fallen deer, poking him to make sure he was dead; we didn't want him trying to escape.

"Nice catch." Jon said, and I put away my bow. "Thanks. Help me get it." I tried to pick up the deer alone, but failed. Jon came to rescue, helping me carry the animal to our horses, luckily we had a container installed for big catches.

Ghost barked when I got on my horse and before Jon and I could react something came flying in my direction, knocking me out of the horse.

**| Jon POV |**

I turned to Ghost when he barked; it was not like him to make noises unless there was something really bad coming.

A shadow came out of the trees right into Lee when he got on top of his horse, knocking in out on the ground.

"Lee!" I yelled, running toward him to see what had happened.

It was a wolf, not a dire, just a wolf; neither him nor Lee were moving. I was frozen, fearing the worse had happened.

Slowly, the wolf begun to move and I took my sword out, ready to cut him if it was needed to. But he fell on the ground next to Lee, still, a sword had pierced his chest, I kneeled next to it to check if it was really dead, but didn't look to Lee.

"God… What a hunt…" He groaned, but his voice seemed different… Not masculine at all. Surprised and confused, I stared at my brother and fell back on my butt, my eyes wide open while I stared.

"What? There is something on my mask?" I couldn't say anything, I felt too shocked to speak.

"Snow! What is it?!"

"You… You are a woman!" I managed to say after staring for a while, still shocked and frozen. His, her eyes widened and her hand reached for her face, touching it only to notice there was no mask or hood covering.

There was no defect, only feminine traces. Her light brown hair, shoulder length was free without the hood.

Well, I had many theories and this was not one of them.

"Jon…" She said, her voice low and really feminine, her real voice without the mask to muffle or her trying to make it huskier.

"I can't ask you to keep my secret… But if you tell… I will be beheaded…" I know, I know. What should I do?

She sighed, looking away and I saw a small scar on her left cheek. "I think I've done my share… But, please… I would like you to behead me… You can do this here and tell them a beast killed me."

What?! I can't behead a brother… A sister in this case. I can't. But my mouth wouldn't move to tell her that.

"I think I owe you at least an explanation… My name is Lily… Lily Peis… I figured Lee was the closest to Lily and it was easier to remember…"

Lily… A pretty name.

"I am sorry I lied… Not only about my identity, but about not having hidden something… You are my brother, Jon… I haven't lied about that…"

"Why… Why are you here… On the Wall?" I said after a while, not hiding my surprise or shock.

"I lived in a village south the Wall… My father was a healer and I lived with him, my mother left us when I was little… One day, the village was sacked and the people killed, including my father, and I received this before I could run away…" She pointed to the scar on her cheek, not looking at me.

"Many people died, innocent people and for a unknown reason I survived… Maybe it was the Old Gods' will, but from that day on, I decided to help people. So I joined…"

I stepped closer; kneeling next to her, my eyes never leaving her face, but she never returned my stare. "I can't behead you…"

"Then Lord Commander can do t…" She looked at me, but stopped her sentence when her eyes met mine.

"I won't tell anyone." I know it is crazy but felt like the right thing to do. I would be beheaded too if someone find out.

"I cannot ask you to lie for me…" She replied, quietly. "Then I won't lie for you, I will lie for the Night's Watch, we need you."

"Let's hope no one else finds out… A woman… On The Wall… Only the rest of me would be executed because they would satisfy their needs before." The thought of the brothers touching her angered me, no one could find out, no one.

"We won't let that happen." I promised.

Lily got the mask and slowly got up, I copied her movements, watching as her feminine face got hidden by the expressionless mask.

"We should head back." Her voice was muffled and hoarse again. "I think we are eating wolf tonight. Good meat, nice and tasty."

"I would like to hear more… About you, Lily…" I said while we rode back to the Wall, she looked at me. "Maybe I will tell you, now that I owe you my life."

Owe me her life, huh?

"I did nothing but keep a friend's secret." I replied when we reached Castle Black, the gate being opened for us.

"And for that… I owe you my life." She looked at me and I could tell she was smiling, deep down, I wished I could see what her smile was like.

**| Lily POV |**

My secret was discovered. I panicked the moment Jon announced that I was a woman, but I always knew deep inside someone would find out one day. At least it was a friend. But he decided to keep my secret. Why I don't know.

I hoped nothing would change now that he knows who I really am.

After unloading our hunt, I went straight to my room, I needed to organize my thoughts and think about the things that had happened.

Perhaps I had found a friend for life. Someone I could count on and let myself be me after all this time… But only perhaps.

When it was time for dinner, I got to the dining room, I had promised Sam I would have dinner with him.

I spotted the small chubby boy and walked over him, he was seating with Pyp, Grenn and Jon. I held my breath when I saw the Snow boy looking up to me, but he just smiled.

I took a seat next to Sam, focusing on my food. They were talking about their most loved topic: Girls.

"So, Pyp. Tell me more about the girls!" Sam asked, excited, making me roll my eyes and focus even more in my meal. Pyp always bragged about the girls we used to be with when he traveled singing.

"Alright. They were all so pretty, eager for the music and entertainment, so much that they would later provide us with the finest entertainment ever seen."

Ok, that wasn't so bad, nothing filthy.

"Their bodies were so warm and so pretty, they moved like snakes while their bodies tangled with our."

I coughed and Sam tapped me on the back, Jon was looking and Pyp had stopped telling his tales because of my sudden noise. "Sorry, I just… Choked a bit here. Go on, Pyp."

"They did wonderful things and when we thought it was over, there was more. They never seemed to get satisfied, like broken objects that never turned off."

"Women are not objects!" Jon yelled, his hands smashing on the table as he stood up, making all of us and some other brothers that were around look at him.

"God, Jon, calm down! It is not like any of us will ever see a woman again." Sam said, and I could easily see Jon punching him.

"Jon, it is fine." I said, calmly, looking directly on his eyes. It appeared to be enough, since he sat down quietly. "Sorry…"

Why did he act like that? Was it because I am a woman? Maybe he is just shy… I never saw him talking about girls.

After Jon's little snap out, Sam and Pyp went back on talking about girls and how nice their bodies was. So I just got up and excused myself.

The halls were empty since all brothers were eating, so I could just walk alone calmly. But the sounds of footsteps dismissed that thought.

"Lily." Jon called and I stopped to look at him. "It's Lee." I corrected. "What was all that about?" I asked once he caught up to walk by my side.

"I didn't like the way they were talking. Men or not, we all have mothers, they are women too, we should be respectful." He looked straight ahead, but my eyes focused on his face.

"Do you know your mother?" I asked, frustration appearing on his face. "No, I don't. My father never told me who she was. And now I may never find out."

That's right. His father was being held captive in King's Landing for treason, I felt bad and sorry for him.

"He will be alright, you will see. He is Ned Stark after all. Oh, I never told you. I met him once." We were reaching my room and I opened the door so he could get in to continue our conversation, it was the first time he went to my room.

"You did?" He sounded surprised and I sat on the bed, he followed.

"I did. He paid our village a visit, he was checking if we were getting enough food and supplies. A wonderful man. One of his men got injured during the trip and he took him to see my father. He stopped next to me as I helped my father take care of the wounded and told me I would make a very good healer one day, that I had the hands of a healer."

I was staring at my hands, covered by gloves.

"Now I use them to murder people." I whispered, more to myself than to him, I wasn't certain if he heard.

"But anyway, an honorable man, your father." I continued, looking at his face. "An honorable man who made a mistake named Jon Snow." He added.

"You are no mistake. You were meant to live, meant to exist; you will do greater things one day, Jon Snow. One day you will be Lord Commander of the Night's Watch." I made sure to put a lot of conviction in my words.

"Maybe… But right now… I just want to sleep in a warm bed." He groaned and I laughed, taking out my mask while I did so.

Yes, I had a true friend.


	5. Couldn't, shouldn't, but I did

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Chapter V – Couldn't, shouldn't, but I did

**| Jon POV |**

"Let me see your hand." I asked while Lily and I sat on the kitchens, I was making the Lord Commander's lunch. While the food was heating up, I sat in front of the disguised woman.

She hesitantly showed her hand, palm up. It was still a little burned. "Can you hold a sword?" I asked, touching the wound with a wet towel.

"Not yet, the moment the sword touched the burn, my hand fails and it fall. Perhaps the damage was greater than we thought." It was concerning, if she couldn't hold a sword, she couldn't fight properly.

"You will be fine, just need to keep taking care of your hand and it will be back to normal in no time." I kept holding her hand, applying the wet towel to give her some relieve.

"My, aren't you an optimistic?" I laughed at the comment, but ignored. Lily's mood wasn't the best; she was taking every opportunity to bad mouth or argue.

It was getting harder to ignore the fact that she is a woman; I kept worrying someone was going to find out and tell everyone and it kept me up at night. Plus I found myself several times thinking about her face without the mask and even what she was hiding under that heavy coat.

"Can I ask you something?" She said and I looked at her face, her voice annoyed. "Sure."

"Can you train with me later if you are not too busy? I would like to see how far I can go." I smiled and took the towel out of her hand and let her go.

"Of course. After lunch?" She nodded and rested against the table while I returned to my duties.

After we ate and rested a bit, Lily and I made our way to the training yard, that time it was empty, our brothers were resting after a meal.

"Are you going to use a sword?" I asked, taking a wooden sword. "Yes, hand me one, Snow." I threw one at her, and she caught it in midair.

"Come, Lord Snow." She teased and I responded by launching an attack at her, she easily dodged.

We danced like that, me attacking and her only avoiding my attacks, but I knew she wasn't attacking because of her hand.

"You need to try sometime." I said, attacking with more strength. This time she had to block with the sword and flinched at the impact.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned. "Yeah, just fine." She hissed and attacked quickly, aiming my stomach, but I jumped back and counter-attacked.

I loved to hear the sound of the swords touching, even if they were made of wood, if made me feel calm, but maybe it was different out there in the battle field.

"Try to grab it with more fingers and less palm." She was struggling with the sword and flinched every now and then. "Do you want me to burn your hand so you can learn and then teach me?" She retorted angrily.

"Woah, calm down." The next attack was stronger and I backed away another step. "I don't need this to kick your ass!" She threw the sword on the ground and came at me bare handed.

I was taken back, but kept my sword in hand and attacking, she dodged and attacked back with her hands, almost never managing to touch me.

Where was that anger coming from? Her punches were filled with fury and frustration, making it easier to dodge, but they hurt once in a while when I blocked with my arms or when they hit me.

After a while she managed to disarm me, my sword went flying away. Lily came right at me, was she thinking at all or she just wanted to hit me really hard?

I grabbed her arms, pulling her closer; her blue eyes meeting mine once she raised her head to look to my face. A mix of feelings running on them, in an endless battle but I couldn't figure out which won.

I felt the unbearable desire of taking her mask off, but knew I couldn't, so I just held her close, her body inches from mine and so was her face.

My grip on her wrists was firm, but I made sure I wouldn't hurt her, I noticed that her breathing was heavy.

"Sorry… I overreacted…" Lily muttered quietly, calming down, but her breathing was still really heavy. I still held her wrists, less firmly now, but still forcing her to stay close.

"Jon! Lee! What are you doing?!" Sam yelled, getting near, I let her go and stepped back.

"Just training." I replied, I felt Lily's gaze on me before she turned away and left without a word.

**| Lily POV |**

The situation with my hand was making me really angry and frustrated, I couldn't hold my sword or even attack properly bare handed, it unnerved me.

I trained alone at night, pushing me to my limits and I barely slept these days. My body was sore and I felt pain, but couldn't show it, my pride was just too big.

I had taken my frustration on Jon and felt bad because of it, but the moment he pulled me closer and I saw his eyes all the bad feelings went away. My heart had stopped for seconds and my breathing got heavy… That was weird.

Maybe I should spend more time alone and not with him, I am getting used to his presence.

I laid on my bed, without my mask and tried to relax a bit, push away these feelings that piled up inside me, until I finally slept.

I dreamt of eyes, lots of eyes, they all so blue and lifeless, surrounding me, there was nothing but eyes and darkness. Until I spotted someone, standing foots away. Jon. He was one of them.

His gray eyes were blue and his lips too, he was carrying his sword, Longclaw, and looked at me, the murdering aura around him and I felt afraid.

The moment I took one step back, he launched himself forward. I closed my eyes, ready to receive the blow…

But the strong sound of knocks woke me up. I jumped, scared and sweating, trying to stay calm, I tried to make my voice huskier. "Who is it?"

"It's Jon." I held my breath for a second, there was something different on his voice. "Is there someone else with you?"

"No." I didn't have to put my mask then. "Come in quickly." He obeyed, entering the room and closing the door behind his back.

He looked devastated, his face was so pale and pain filled his eyes.

"Jon… What is it?" I asked, getting up and walking toward him, he hadn't moved an inch after he closed the door.

"My father… He was executed…"

What? How could they? Lord Stark did nothing!

"Jon…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if there was something to say.

"My brother Robb has declared war…"

His voice was so pained and it seemed like he was going to cry any minute. I reached the door, locking it so no one would interrupt him in his moment of grief.

"It will be alright…" Would it?

He wasn't moving and I wasn't sure of what to do. So I just followed my instincts my heart…

I moved closer, stopping in front of Jon, and slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer in an awkward hug. His hair was so soft and I touched it with one hand, caressing it gently.

I was sure he wasn't going to hug me back, but it didn't matter, he needed comfort and at least a little I could provide.

**| Jon POV |**

I felt empty, lost, confused. My foot had guided me to Lily's room and I stood in front of her door for minutes before knocking. That was the place that felt most right to be in right now.

I could tell she was shocked and sad, after all she liked my father too. I couldn't speak; there was nothing else to say. I fought the tears that insisted in appear on my eyes.

When Lily's arm wrapped around my neck, I was extremely stunned and didn't know how to react. Her hand touched my hair and I felt myself unconsciously closing my eyes and let myself be embraced.

After seconds, my arms moved and I involved her waist, holding her coat strongly with both hands.

Because if her height, I had to bend over to hide my face in her neck and because of that I felt her scent. It was sweet and pleasant, intoxicating and I breathed deeply to smell it.

I don't know for how long we stayed there, but I didn't want to let go, I felt like I belonged for the first time in my life.

Lily pulled away, her hands sliding from my neck to my chest and she tried to take a step back, but I didn't release her and tightened my embrace.

She didn't fight, but looked up to my face, I couldn't help but stare to every single part of her face. I looked into her blue eyes, they sparked and were full with emotions, capturing mine like a trap.

My cheeks flushed and heated up, my heart and breathing became faster and heavier. I tried to look away from her eyes, but my gaze simply moved from her eyes to her pink lips. I saw that her cheeks were red too; she was blushing just like me.

I moved my face closer to hers, soon being able to feel her warm breath in my face and my nose brushed on hers gently. My heart was beating so fast that I was sure it was going to explode.

My lips had gently touched hers when the door received several knocks and we both jumped away from each other.

"Lee! Are you there?! We can't find Jon anywhere!" She quickly got her mask and put it on, also pulling the hood over her face.

"He is here, Sam." She unlocked the door, letting Sam in. I was still blushing furiously and my heart raced, so I stepped away from the light into the darkest corner.

"Jon! I thought you had done something crazy!" Oh, I almost did. I didn't reply and looked at Lily, who stared at a very interesting spot on the floor.

"Hm… Guys? Is everything ok?" Sam asked, unsure. "No, Sam, nothing is ok. Jon is grieving, he needs time." Lily answered and Sam shrunk a bit, ashamed.

"Sorry… It is time to make dinner…" He announced and I knew I had to go. Sam went ahead, leaving me alone with Lily, I walked until I stopped in front of her, looking down to her hidden face, but didn't do or say anything, then just left.

I still felt bad because of my family, but something about that moment we shared made me fell so… Alive and wanted… She hadn't moved or anything, but she didn't pull back either. It was only for a second, but her lips were on mine anyway.

I made and delivered the Lord Commander dinner and went to get my own, I wasn't hungry, but not eating wasn't an option.

I spotted Sam, Pyp, Green and a short Lily sitting in a table and made my way there. Pyp had his arms around Lily's shoulder and was laughing. I felt like I was kicked repeatedly and wanted to smash Pyp's head on the table.

"What are we talking about?" I asked, sitting between Lily and Pyp, she stared at me confused while he ignored, even I didn't know why I did it, but seeing Pyp touching her drove me crazy. "Girls, what else?"

"Of course, what else?" I heard Lily mutter while she ate quietly.

She got up without making any noise, but Sam turned to her. "Where are you going, Lee?"

"I am on watch tonight. The whole night up there freezing to death, thrilling!" She said with sarcasm and I smiled. "I can keep you company." I offered without thinking.

"There is no need, Jon. Go rest, you had a long and rough day." I shook my head, getting up and leaving the table. "I insist, I need to keep my mind busy."

Lily didn't argue and we walked together to the elevator so we could get on top of the Wall. None of us spoke while we climbed.

"It's freezing tonight." She said, getting near the fire, and I did the same, our bodies almost touching because of the closeness. "It is. Doesn't the mask makes it colder?"

"A little, since it is made of iron." I could tell she was doing her best to speak normally, but there was a hint of shyness in her voice. Should we talk about before or just forget?

"Hm… Jon… About before…" She whispered, looking to the ground. "We don't need to talk about it, we can just forget if it is what you want…"

She didn't say anything, just kept staring at the ground, until she sat on it and hugged her body. I sat next to her, trying to warm my hands on the fire.

"I am sorry about your father… I am here for you if you need anything." Her shoulders were shrunk and her chin touched her knee, her face turned to me.

I do… I do need something…

I moved my hands to her face, slowly removing the mask and placing it on the ground. "What if someone sees…?"

"We will hear the elevator…" Lily simply nodded and kept looking at me.

She had such feminine features, so delicate. I touched her left cheek, tracing the scar planted there, it wasn't deep or ugly, it actually matured her. She moved her face toward my hand and I planted my whole palm on her reddened cheek.

I was getting near again, my face inches from hers. Her mouth was semi open and she looked at me. "Jon…" She warned, but I didn't pull away, my hand now moving gently on her face. I got even closer, feeling her breath.

"Jon…" She called again. "Don't you want me to…?" I asked, not stepping away, but no answer came. It could either mean she did want or that she did not want. But I was inclined to pick the first one.

My eyes closed and I leaned forward, a second later feeling her soft lips touching mine, I stopped breathing the moment I touched them, a little shock running through my body, but it was good.

It took me seconds to begin moving and I feared that Lily wouldn't respond, but to my surprise, she did. Our lips danced together slowly and the cold air around us seemed to have faded away.

I felt her hand touch my chest, right where my heart is and she probably could feel how quick it was, she grabbed my shirt and my face warmed even more.

Seconds later I was even closer, one arm around her waist and the other hand still on her face, she grabbed my shirt stronger, forbidding me to back away.

My lips stopped moving and I bit gently her lower lip, asking for entrance. I had never done that, but listening to the others talk had taught me a thing or another. Her lips broke apart, granting me permission and my tongue touched hers.

She tasted so sweet and I stopped thinking straight, well, I already wasn't, but then the rest of consciousness I had left was gone for sure. My grip on her waist tightened and I pulled her closer, pressing her small body against my own. Her free arm moved firmly around my neck, her fingers twisted around my hair.

My body was hot and I felt like the clothes that protected me from the cold were now disturbing me. I pulled away when there was no air left in my lungs and we both gasped, only our faces a little far, but we did not move from our positions.

I opened my eyes and looked at her face. Lily was blushing like mad and her chest was moving heavily when she breathed through her mouth, she looked back at me, her blue eyes shining.

I couldn't, I shouldn't, but I fell in love with her.


	6. Beyond the Wall

**Another chapter is up!**  
**Thank you so much for reading it!**  
**I posted an image on my profile of how I pictured Lily. I think it might help imagine her. :D**

**I would like to remember you, reader, that I rated this fanfic M for a reason. If you are not comfortable with reading sexual content, you can always skip it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones or A Song of Ice and Fire, if I did, a lot of things would be different.**

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Chapter VI – Beyond the wall

**| Lily POV |**

I tried to avoid Jon after our… Meeting on top of the Wall, but I couldn't. Every time I backed away for more than an hour I felt like a big part of me was missing, it was frustrating. I knew I couldn't stay away from him, so I just started pretending nothing happened that night.

And Jon did the same, we hadn't been alone since then and he tried to keep his distance as well, sitting far or not talking to me sometimes. I felt glad he was thinking just like me, but it hurt like hell.

Earlier I was told that I was finally going beyond the Wall again and this was a great chance for me to clear my mind and heart.

I prepared a horse and the supplies I needed for this little trip, also getting a bow, arrows and two swords. I ordered the keeper to open the gate so I could go out, and he was in the process when I heard my name.

"Lee!" It was Jon's voice, I felt butterflies on my stomach and my heart skip a beat, and then turned around to see him; he was sitting on a horse.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to be polite. "Lord Commander told me to go with you." Great, why did he always have to baby sit me?

In fact, my hand isn't better yet, I can grab a sword, but it stills betrays me and fails sometimes, forcing me to drop the sword or whatever I have in hand.

"Great, my septa is here." I rolled my eyes, turning to the gate and then leaving the Black Castle, I heard Jon's horse behind me.

"Where are we going?" He asked, his horse following mine as I lead the way. "A friendly wildling village was spotted completely desert, we are going there to investigate"

"Friendly?" He asked, surprised. I didn't look to him, thinking about how to answer. "You see… Not all wildlings are bad. They are people just like us, but they learned how to survive using the harsh way. Out here exists every kind of things you could possibly imagine and they have to protect their families."

"South the Wall they are pictured as terrible, mean savages that just want to kill and fuck you. But not all of them are like that. I used to think just like you…"

He was silent, probably thinking about what I had just said and I let him think in peace, without speaking anymore.

We were riding for hours now and the sun would come down at any second. I stopped my hoarse and jumped out of it. Jon looked at me questioning.

"The sun is going to come down, we need to camp." I answered. He was looking around and all there was to see was white snow. I knew he was looking for a cavern or something like that.

"You must know where to look." I said, walking to a mountain of snow and kicked just in the right spot, revealing a cavern. Jon followed me inside with our horses and I blocked the passage with snow again, making the cavern really dark.

We couldn't see anything and I bumped into Jon on my way to the horse. "Sorry." I said, quickly stepping away from him.

"Are we going to stay in the dark?" He asked, insecurity all over his voice, but it was comprehensive, he had never been on a mission so far away from the Wall and with so little men.

"No, I blocked the cavern with snow so no one outside can see the fire." I sat on the cold floor and soon a small fire was on, lightening the place. "See? That's better."

Jon sat next to me, trying to warm himself next to the fire. I kicked myself for the next thing I was going to say. "You must sit closer to me, so you won't freeze. The best thing to warm yourself is the body heat."

I was blushing and felt really glad he couldn't see it, my eyes were fixated on the floor, but I could feel him moving and sitting next to me, his arm and leg touching mine.

"For how long are you going to ignore me…?" I blinked several times, not believing my ears. "I am sorry, what?"

"You heard me. You've been avoiding me…" I felt offended and wished to punch him. "I am not the only one, you've been avoiding me also! And don't you dare say it is not true!"

"I am sorry… I missed you…" He brushed his arm against mine in a playful way and I smiled, pushing him lightly as well. "That's fine… We needed time…"

I removed my mask, putting it on the floor, I haven't looked at Jon once since we got inside the cavern. I grabbed one bag and pulled a piece of bread out of it. "Want some?" I asked and he took the piece out of my hand, brushing his on my hand.

"Thank you." He said and I looked up to him, smiling, I took another piece of bread for myself and started eating.

The silence felt quite uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to break it. I glanced at Jon a few times without say anything, a single look was capable of making me breathless and that irritated me a lot.

He was my brother, my colleague and still… I couldn't stop these feelings from developing so strongly toward him. It was bad enough that I am a woman working on the Night's Watch, but having fallen in love with someone I knew I shouldn't made it even worse.

Should I be honest with him or just ignore all these feelings until they disappear?

"Lily." Jon called and I looked at him, he was so close because of the cold. "Yes?" I asked, blinking a few times.

"You have been silent for a while now… Is something bothering you?" Was that my chance to declare myself? Maybe it was…

"Yes, there is something bothering me… But I am not sure if we should talk about it." I was sure he knew what I was talking about and he sighed, looking to the fire, I looked away too.

"You are my brother…" He begun talking, I just listened without interfering. "But I don't want you to be just my brother…"

**| Jon POV |**

I had been struggling with those feelings, trying to hide or get rid of them. A brother of the Night's Watch is not supposed to have feelings at all. But I was failing miserably and the time we were apart made me feel like I was dead.

"Jon…" Lily whispered my name and I looked at her, meeting her blue eyes that I loved so much. "Don't… I know you want this as much as I do…"

I think I may have spoken magic word because the next thing I know her hands were touching and her lips were against mine. I smiled and grabbed her waist, pulling her closer.

She pulled away and I saw her face completely red, I was probably blushing myself, I couldn't stop the giant smile on my lips.

"We should rest… I will be on watch first." Lily said, her hands still on my face, but I didn't let her go and held her waist with more strength. "No."

"Jon… Go to sleep." I knew I was acting like a child, a stubborn child, but I really didn't want to let her go. "Let me stay like this for a while…" I pleaded and she didn't argue, just wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my chest.

I wasn't feeling cold anymore, she was right about the body heat. I rested my back on the cavern wall, still holding her and closed my eyes, drifting slowly to sleep.

I woke up feeling cold and opened my eyes to look around me, Lily was sitting on a corner, her eyes open and she looked to the entrance of the cavern.

"You abandoned me…" I groaned, getting closer to the fire. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." She replied, still not looking at me. I noticed the cavern was brighter than before and there was a little bit of light coming from outside.

"Is it morning yet?" I asked, surprised and she nodded, now handing me a piece of bread and some meat. "Yes, it is."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked while eating, feeling a little frustrated because she hadn't woken me. "You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to interrupt…" Lily replied quietly and I sensed a hint of shyness on her voice.

I finished eating before moving closer, sitting next to her, I felt the impulse of hugging her, but stopped myself.

"So, for how long we stay here?" I asked, looking at her face, she seemed calm. "We can go now, no one got near our cavern during the night."

"Alright then. Is the village far?" I asked while we both got up, picking our stuff and put out the fire. "Maybe three or four hours in horse." She smiled at me before we left the cavern, already on top of our horses.

"So, Lily, tell me more about yourself." I asked after an hour of riding in silence, Lily looked at me and smiled before answering. "Well… There isn't much to tell… Before or after I became a brother?"

"Before." I replied, she pondered for a few seconds. "I worked with my father, as his assistant, I didn't leave home much. I once helped him deliver a baby."

"Your father seems like a great man." I commented. "He was, he tried to protect the village, gave the men everything they wanted, but they killed people anyway… He gave his life to save me."

We had never really discussed about her life before the Wall, it made me feel closer to her and even fonder. "After the village was attacked, I ran away with some of our belongings, including some books. I had previous knowledge, but they helped me to improve my techniques in combat."

"I joined when I was thirteen and have been working on the Night's Watch ever since. Not a thrilling story." Lily laughed at the last phrase, but I didn't think of it like that. "Sounds pretty exciting to me. And after you joined?"

"I trained more on the Wall and became a ranger. I had a few missions beyond the Wall, finding Windlings and stuff like that. Until I was doing recognition with a group and we were attacked by White Walkers… Everyone died but me. I thought I was going to die out here, without food or water."

"But you are alive." I said, looking at her, Lily's attention was on the way we were traveling on. "Truth. I passed away walking on the mountains and woke up two weeks later on a Wildling's village, they saved me, even though I was a brother of the Night's Watch. They said that it didn't matter, I was a person too."

I felt shocked and surprised, I never thought a Wildling would help a brother, less save one.

"They pointed me to the right way when I was strong enough and I got back to the Wall, that's when I met you." She smiled weakly at me, returning her attention to the road seconds later.

"Now, I told you everything. Your turn." Lily demanded and I smiled. "I am a bastard, a bastard's life is never really glorious. I grow up in the shadow of my family, but they were really kind and treated me like one of them, except for Lady Stark and my half-sister Sansa. I always wanted to come to the Wall to feel like I belonged."

"And do you?" She asked. Do I…? I am not sure I do… "Sometimes I feel like I did the right thing by coming here… Sometimes I don't. I thought about leaving to help my brother on the war, but then stopped and realized that I belong here now."

"You can always run, I would back you up. I owe you my life." I felt really grateful for her offer, but I couldn't accept, not because of the Night's Watch, I had something else there now.

"No, thank you. I must stay."

We had been riding for hours now and I soon spotted the village. It was completely deserted and the small houses were destroyed or burned. There were stains of blood on the floor and the most part of it was probably covered by the snow.

We got off our horses and took our swords out, ready to fight if needed. The only sounds were our footsteps and our breathing. We checked every house, every corner, but there were no bodies or people alive.

"There is nothing here." I said when we got on the center of the village. "Correction: Now there is nothing here. I found footprints on the snow leading north, a lot of them."

"Where do you think they went?" I asked, letting go of my sword and calming down a bit. "They didn't go anywhere. They died here and after that, they left. White Walkers."

I tensed, these vicious creatures had been right there where we were standing, killing people. "We should head back now, we don't know how far they are."

I jumped when one of our horses cried out and ran away before we could stop him.

"Great!" Lily shouted frustrated. "At least it was mine, our supplies are on your horse." I said, trying to sound positive.

"You will have to walk now." She said, sighing. "What?!" I yelled, but she only laughed. "Joking, you ride with me."

We walked to the horse, I mounted first and she followed, her body completely pressed against mine and I pulled my arms around her waist while she held the rein. I could feel her smell and her hair touched my chin softly.

Lily moved slightly and her body ended up even more against mine, I tried to ignore every dirty thought that ran through my mind.

She kicked the horse and it begun trotting, I hugged her more firmly to keep me steady on top of the horse.

I didn't know what to say during the ride, and she didn't speak either, I just watched her for hours until she finally stopped the horse.

"We should camp." Lily said and got out of the horse, her body brushing against mine completely in the process, and I followed, trying to hide the growing situation on my pants.

"Do you see a place where we can camp?" I asked, she was thoughtful and looked around quietly. "Yes, there." She pointed a mountain filled with snow, another cavern. I was getting fond to caverns.

We guided the horse inside after she kicked the snow out of the way and then I made a small fire while she blocked the entrance to keep us safe.

"You should rest." I said. She hadn't slept since we left Castle Black and she was probably really tired. "Wake me up in an hour or two." Lily said, finding a warm spot and laying down on the ground. I sat behind her, my legs brushing against her back.

I saw nothing during my watch that only lasted two hours because Lily woke up without me calling her. I hadn't been able to see her face while she slept, because she kept it hidden under her coat.

She rolled softly on the ground, laying with her belly up and looked at me. "For how long I slept?"

"Maybe two hours…" I answered, touching her hair with one hand, it was so soft. I thought she was going to pull away or roll somewhere far, but she only smiled at me, not getting up.

I couldn't resist the temptation and slowly bent down, touching her cold yet soft lips with mine, it took her a few seconds, but she eventually answered and kissed me back. I felt her hand on the back of my head, pulling me even closer and grabbing my hair carefully.

Our kiss deepened when I penetrated her mouth and touched her tongue with mine, all the repressed feelings and thoughts coming at full speed, and I could feel she had them too, because she fought against me for domination and I obviously won.

Lily supported her body with one elbow while her other hand kept playing with my hair, sometimes touching the back of my neck and sending shivers down my spine.

I stepped away when I ran out of air, and Lily breathed heavily too, letting go of my hair and laying on the ground again. I was going to lean in once more when we heard a sound outside the cavern.

It sounded like horses and people talking, I couldn't figure out what they were saying, I didn't understand the language. Lily sat on the floor, motioning me to be silent.

Wildlings. Just outside our cavern, which means we are stuck here until they leave.

"Do you think they left…?" I asked really quietly when I couldn't hear voices anymore. "I do now know… We cannot risk going outside to find out. When the sun comes out, we will see…" I nodded, still sitting next to her.

"We should eat something…" She crawled to our horse, getting us some food and then returned to my side, I tried my best not to look while she was crouched and had her back to me.

We ate silently, too worried someone would find us and we would engage in battle. I felt tense and couldn't stop looking to the entrance. Then I felt Lily's hand on mine, holding it gently and reassuringly.

"It will be fine…" She whispered and I looked at her face, trying to smile. I watched her as she kneeled down in front of me and held my face with one of her hands while the other still held mine.

"It will…" She said again and I nodded, also guiding my free hand to her face and pulling her close until our foreheads touched.

"Lily… I want to do things we shouldn't…" I admitted, closing my eyes. "You are not alone there, pal…" I smiled at her words, closing the space between our faces and touching her lips with mine.

As our lips moved together in synchrony, I slowly took her coat off and felt her shrink perhaps from the cold or even shyness, but she didn't pull away. I brought her close until her breasts touched my chest, she still wore a thick shirt.

I slid my lips to her neck while she removed my own coat, surprisingly, I didn't get cold. I heard Lily moan and the part of me that screamed we shouldn't do it simply faded away, leaving only my feelings and desires speaking loud.

Using our coats as bed, I pushed her onto the ground while I removed my own shirt to expose my chest. Her nails traced my bare skin and I shivered slightly, seconds after capturing her lips with mine into another heated kiss.

I was in hurry to free her body from the rest of her clothes and worked fast with my hands to remove and throw them away. I was breathless at the sight of her nude body, her face was completely red and she tried to hide herself, but with the closeness of our bodies she couldn't do it.

"We can stop, if you want…" I said on her ear, but she hugged me strongly, wrapping her arms around my chest, making her breasts be pressed against the skin of my chest. I was going crazy.

"I do not want you to stop… I am already breaking every rule by being a woman and being in love with you…" Lily is in love with me… I felt like dancing.

I held her face with my hands, kissing her lips several times, she laughed between the kisses.

"I am in love with you too…" I said once I stopped kissing her and received the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

I slowly removed my pants and underwear, being completely naked, but I didn't feel exposed, it felt right to be so intimated with her. I could see her eyes wander around all over my body and her face went even redder than before.

She kissed my chin and moved her lips to my neck, sucking my skin really gently, but it made me moan in pleasure. I let my eyes close while I enjoyed her touch, starting to roam my hands over her body.

I touched her chest with the tips of my fingers before arrive and grab one of her breasts firmly, she moaned and bit my neck in response.

Insecurity and inexperience screamed in every movement, but my desire was speaking louder and guided me. Our moans and heavy breathing filling the small cavern, I was sweating despise the cold.

Kindly, I pushed her legs open and positioned myself between them, staring right into her eyes, looking for approval and all I could see was determination, there was no regret or fear. That gave me even more will and I pushed inside her for the first time, initiating a night I wished would never end.


	7. Before we go again

**Another chapter is up!  
Thank you so much for reading!**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own GoT or ASOIF, if I did, a lot of things would be different.**

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Chapter VII – Before we go again

**| Jon POV |**

I woke up feeling extremely good and when I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Lily's face resting on my chest, she breathed slowly and looked so peaceful on her sleep. I couldn't fight the smile on my face and touched her hair gently, it brushed on my skin softly.

I still could feel her touch, my sweating skin pressed on hers, I could hear her moans on my ear, whispering my name so softly. The memory was enough to make me excited again.

But we needed to go back.

"Lily…" I called, shaking her shoulder gently with one hand, she moved her body against mine, but didn't wake up, I groaned slightly and felt even more frustrated because I couldn't do anything.

"Lily…" I called again, she moved again and this time opened her eyes, looking to me, she blinked a few times then her face acquired a deep shade of red, I knew she was remembering last night.

"Hey…" She said really quietly, then smiled softly, I smiled back, kissing her forehead. "Hey…"

Lily sat on the ground, trying to hide what she could of her nude body. "You don't need to hide." I said, holding her hands and kissing them, she smiled and stopped trying to hide. "So you knew where to put it." She joked and I laughed, remembering our first conversation about the topic, when Sam made me look like a fool.

"I said I did, you just didn't believe me." I defended myself, kissing her shoulder lightly. "We should go, Jon…"

"I don't want to." I said stubbornly, gaining a bigger smile. "We must. It is not safe out here. Stop staring, Jon!" I was staring and that earned me a slap on the head, I just laughed and started to pick up our clothes so we could get dressed.

We finished getting dressed and got something from the bag to eat before leaving to the Wall. It was a few hours ride away and when we got near, Lily took her mask out of her bag and placed it on her face.

The gates opened and we entered, getting out of the horse once we were inside. A stupid brother saw us and commented. "See, we all knew Lord Snow was into guys."

I felt angry, but it was nothing compared to how Lily probably felt, seeing that she ran to the brother and punched him on the face, making him fly a few steps, his nose bleeding. The other brothers near laughed, but he looked angry and advanced toward her, who simply dodged and punched him on the back, making him fall.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, stay quiet and maybe you will not get smacked so much." She said, stopping next to the fallen brother, I couldn't help but smile. "Any other funny joke?"

They all stopped laughing and looked scared. "Good. Let's go, Jon, we should report to Lord Commander." Lily begun walking and I followed, a smirk playing on my face.

"What is with that smirk, Jon?" She asked once we were walking alone on the halls to the Lord Commander quarter. "My lover knows how to kick asses." I blushed at the word lover and I knew she did too as she brushed her hand on mine.

I knocked on the door and waited for Lord Commander to answer, he soon did and let us inside, then sat back on his desk.

"So? How was the mission?" He asked while looking to some papers. "The village is completely desert." Lily answered.

"Abandoned?" He asked, still not looking at us. "No. White Walkers." She answered again, this time making Lord Commander quickly look at us. "Did you see any?"

"No, Lord Commander. There were only traces; they went back north after attacking the village." He sighed and looked back to his papers, he looked concerned and tired.

"We will walk north tomorrow to investigate the disappearance of rangers and unusual activity on the Haunted Forest. Both of you are coming."

"Yes, Lord Commander." We replied in unison before leaving the quarter. "Well… I am going to my bedroom, we need to rest before going out tomorrow." Lily said once we were out.

"I will accompany you." I offered and we begun walking to her bedroom, I suddenly felt a little nervous and memories of last night appeared on my mind. That would be the last night, for Gods knows how long, we would be able to be together alone.

We reached her bedroom and entered, she closed the door behind her and locked it while I sat on her bed, watching her as she took her mask off and pulled down her hood.

"You seem tense, are you alright?" She asked and I shook my head while answering. "It is nothing."

"Jon…" She demanded while she lit the fire to warm and lighten the room. "I was just thinking… We won't be able to be together for days."

"Well, that happens when you are a brother of the Night's Watch. You have to go on missions." She sat next to me, pulling her legs on top of the bed and leaning against the wall. "I know that… Now that we realize our feelings for each other… How should we proceed?"

"You ask me? Boy, I never had a relationship before. You are more experienced than me, with that whore of yours." Lily hissed the last part and took her boots off, throwing them on the ground.

"Are you jealous?" She frowned while I raised an eyebrow. "Why would I be, Lord Snow?" She teased and I acted quickly, grabbing her waist and pinning her down on the bed while I positioned myself on top of her.

"Because you like me." I whispered while nearing our lips, I could feel her breathing becoming heavy. "In your dreams, Lord Snow…"

"We might die out there…" I begun saying, but Lily touched my lips with one finger to stop me from continuing. "Do not say that."

"We cannot pretend it isn't true. We might die and this may be our last night together, I would very much like to spend it here."

"In case you haven't noticed… The door is locked, you are not going anywhere." I smiled and blushed when she spoke slowly and even seductively, Lily was blushing too.

I ended the distance between our lips, touching hers with mine into a heated kiss. My hands began roaming all over her body while she took off my coat and shirt. Our tongues played together quickly and strongly and I felt her nails on my skin, making me shiver.

I had kissed her neck when someone knocked on the door. We both groaned in frustration.

"What?" She made her voice husky and hissed angrily, but we didn't move from our positions. "Lee, have you seen Jon? He has to make Lord Commander's dinner." Crap, I had forgotten about that.

"He is not feeling very well. Could you please make it for him?" Poor Sam, never had even talked to a girl properly while I was laying in bed with the prettiest one. "What is going on with him?"

God, just go away, Sam.

"I don't know, it is probably nothing, but you should let him rest." I sighed and laid my head on Lily's shoulder. "Are you coming down to have dinner with us?" He asked.

"Not hungry, thanks." Sam muttered an ok and finally left. "If it wasn't for the fact that he is clueless about your real identity, I would have said he has a crush on you." I got smacked on the head playfully and laughed.

Lily pushed me to the side and got up, massaging her own neck. "I probably should go look for Sam, since he is my new lover." She said and I got up, hugging her from behind. Despise my shirtless situation, I didn't feel cold.

"So you like them with more meat…" I teased, bending a little and breathed deeply when my nose touched her neck, feeling her scent. "They say that the more meat they have, the better lover they are." She replied.

"I am not a good lover, then?" I bit her neck and saw her legs tremble a bit while she moaned lowly. "You are the one with experience here, not me."

"I told you I haven't done anything, but stare." I loved her jealous side.

I pulled Lily closer, pressing my chest against her back with more strength, just like the rest of my body. I slowly took off her cloak and let it fall on the floor, then removed her shirt while I planted small kisses on her shoulder.

She turned slowly, not backing away an inch and because of that pressing her breasts against my chest, I stared down at them and swallowed hard, trying to contain the several things that were going around my mind.

"Jon… If I am making you uncomfortable, I can put my clothes back on…" Lily whispered really softly and shyly. I looked up to her face and smiled, she was blushing like mad. "I am alright…"

I took her face with both my hands, getting near and touching her lips with mine, it begun slowly and even shy, but soon our lust and desire guided us and the kiss became intense and our tongues fought each other.

I pushed her gently against a wall, pressing her against it while I released her mouth and traveled with my lips to her neck, biting and sucking her soft and pale skin. She moaned and grabbed my hair with both hands, pulling me even closer.

One of Lily's legs wrapped around my waist at the same time the other one kept her standing up, that made my already hardened length to be pressed against her stomach and I groaned in pleasure.

She must have heard me because one of her hands travelled to my pants and untied them hurriedly, it soon fell on the ground along with my underwear and I kicked them so the corner.

My head went numb with pleasure when I felt Lily's hand around my length and I had to support myself with one arm on the wall and bit her neck with more force than before to stop myself from moaning out loud.

With every movement I thought I was losing a little bit of sanity and all left was pleasure and lust. I moved my hands to touch her breasts, caressing and squeezing them. Lily's moans joined mine and our heavy breathing filled the room.

I couldn't stand any longer, so I pulled her to the bed, making her lay down and then positioned myself between her legs and pushed hard inside her. Lily tried not to moan so loudly and bit her own lip, her eyes closed because of the sudden penetration, I knew from her expression that it had hurt a little.

I waited until her expression softened to begin moving inside her. I felt complete and like there was nothing wrong in the world. All that mattered was that moment and that woman who moaned my name.

Our climax came together and she was shutting her eyes when I touched her face gently. "Do not close your eyes… I want to look at them…" She blushed madly but obeyed, her eyes locked on mine.

I rested on top of her, our bodies covered in sweat and still one. I kissed her lips and backed away only a few inches, still feeling her sweet breaths on my face.

"Lily…" I said and she opened her eyes, looking at me." Yes…?"

"I love you…" I had never said that to anyone in the whole world, but that seemed so right and I needed to say it. "I love you too, Jon…" She replied, a small smile on her lips, I smiled back before falling on the bed and letting my current exhaustion drive me to sleep.

Tomorrow we would be traveling again and only God knows what we will find.


	8. Walking north

**Another chapter is up!**  
**Thank you so much for reading it! I hope you guys are enjoying!**  
**Disclaimer: I do not own GoT or ASOIF, if I did, a lot of things would be different.**

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Chapter VIII – Walking north

**| Lily POV |**

When morning came, I woke up again on Jon's arms, he was already awake and looked down to me, smiling the smile that always made my stomach twist and my heart race. I smiled back and snuggled comfortably, breathing deeply to feel his scent.

"We will have to get up soon…" I said, closing my eyes again while I ran a hand on his bare and strong chest, he caressed my hair softly. "I know…"

"We may find something about your uncle out there. I am sure he is fine." If I survived out there and even got help from Wildlings, why wouldn't his uncle, who was far more skilled than me?

Jon had a hopeful but apprehensive expression and remained silent, looking to the ceiling. I could stare at his face forever without a single worry on the world. He saw me staring and looked at me, smiling gently, but I still saw the apprehension on his face.

"He is alright, Jon…" I whispered, trying to reassure him and he nodded.

Slowly I got up, stretching myself, my back turned to Jon. I started putting my clothes on, feeling eyes on me, I knew Jon was staring, but I didn't mind. "You can stare, but you can't touch." I teased, smirking.

I saw Jon's arms around my waist seconds later and his still nude body touched mine, he kissed my neck for a few seconds. "It will be hard to sleep next to you with all those men around…"

"I am sure we will manage." I turned to look at him, touching his face with my hands and kissed his chin. "Now go get ready, you need to pack your supplies." He hesitated before walking away and getting dressed. Jon kissed the top of my head before leaving my room.

I packed a few clothes and things I would need to keep myself unnoticed, we never know for how long we are going to stay out there, could be a week, could be months. The second you step on the land North the Wall, it is a whole new world filled with mysteries.

I made my way to the training yard where we would be meeting and was surprised by the amount of brothers that were going with us, there were at least two hundred men waiting for the Lord Commander's orders.

"Wow, I never saw so many people together." Sam commented next to me and I turned to look at him, I was Lee again and my mask was hiding my real identity. "Me neither, I think this is one of the largest expedition ever done."

"Oh, have you seen Jon? I tried knocking on his room earlier, but got no answer. Is he feeling better?" He asked, concerned with his friend and I blushed under my mask because I knew too well that Jon wasn't in his room. "No, I haven't seen him since yesterday. Do not worry, he is Jon after all."

"I am what?" Jon asked from behind me and my heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice, both Sam and I turned to look at him. "Sam was asking if you were feeling better."

"Oh, I am, Sam, it was just indigestion." I am called indigestion now, alright, I will remember that, Jon Snow.

"I am glad you are feeling better, Jon." Sam said, kindly. "You are a tough lad, Snow. It is hard to take you down." I teased and I knew he understood my hidden intention. "Not if you know where to touch." I blushed madly, remembering last night.

Sam was looking from me to Jon, without understand a thing we were talking about, but he didn't seem too interested either.

"Attention, all of you!" I heard Lord Commander's voice and turned to look, he was standing higher than us so we all could see him. "This expedition has four goals. One: We must discover why there are so many Wildlings leaving their villages near the Wall. Two: We must learn more about the King-Beyond-The-Wall. Three: Find information about Benjen Stark and the other missing rangers. Four: Discover what caused the corpses of Jafer Flowers and Othor to rise from the dead."

Everyone paid attention and didn't dare speak while he was talking, I saw some brothers around me shiver when he mentioned Jafer and Othor.

"We will walk together without breaking the formation and one hundred men of the Shadow Tower will be joining us once we reach the Fist of the First Men. I hope all of you packed warm clothes so you won't freeze to death up there. Let's go!"

He announced and we started marching north. A lot of these people hadn't been beyond the Wall, and I knew they were feeling scared. I saw Sam looking around once we were out, expecting to see Wildlings or worse coming out to us. I touched his shoulder, squeezing it to give him reassurance.

"It will be alright." I said and he nodded and smiled thankfully. At the corner of my eye I saw Jon staring and that made me smile. I got closer to him and whispered so only he could hear. "My new lover right there."

He slapped the back of my head gently and I laughed. Our expedition had started and it wasn't so bad… Yet.

It took us a day and a half of walking to arrive to the first village and it was completely desert. Night was coming and we needed a place to camp. I walked toward Lord Commander Mormont and Jon, who prepared his meal.

"We should camp, Lord Commander." I said and he looked down to face me. "Here? It isn't safe."

"If they left, there is a reason, no Wildling is near so they will not attack and we can defend ourselves, it is safer than camping outside on open air. Our men deserve a warmer corner to sleep on after almost two days of straight walk." He stared at me and I knew I was being a little insolent, but it was true.

"Alright, then. My brothers! We shall camp here tonight. Pick a warm hut and make yourself comfortable. No one is to sleep alone; it isn't safe, stay in groups of at least ten people!" He yelled so everyone could hear and they dissolved into the huts, making themselves comfortable for the harsh cold night.

After we ate, Jon and I went looking for a hut as well, we were cold and I felt tired. Sam walked out of one and called us. "Jon, Lee! I saved you guys some space!" He yelled.

I felt grateful and walked over the hut, that wasn't so crowded, but because of the small size, there weren't that much space left, but it was better than nothing.

I picked a warm spot on the floor and laid my bag on the floor to use it as a pillow and I took one coat to use as a blanket. I was ready to sleep when I felt something warm next to me, so I turned to look and Jon was laying there, looking at me with his beautiful gray eyes.

"You can't sleep so close…" I whispered, making sure no one would hear. "There isn't much space, no one will find it odd." It was true; everyone was almost touching on their sleeps because of the lack of space. "Alright then. Goodnight, Jon."

"Goodnight, Li… Lee…" He said and I smiled under the mask, making myself more comfortable, finding a safe spot not that near him or so far away.

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**| Jon POV |**

I felt tired from walking more than a day without any stops and my body thanked for the night of sleep, all thanks to Lily who convinced Lord Commander it was safer to stay in the village.

She was still asleep when I got up to prepare Lord Commander's breakfast and I kissed the top of her head without anyone seeing before getting up and walking out.

Lord Commander was already up and looking over some papers. I walked over him, making some noise to let him know I was getting near and he turned to look. "Snow, go prepare my breakfast." He said.

"Yes, Lord Commander." I obeyed and prepared his breakfast, then leaving to eat my own and then take some to Lily, who still slept like almost everyone else on the camp.

"Lee…" I called, sitting next to her with the food on my hands. She sat sleepy and I heard her yawn under the mask. "Got you something to eat." I said, handing her the bread.

"Thanks…" She said and took off her mask, pulling the hood so it would hide her face. I always found very interesting that no one noticed her when she was eating. I guess they were just too oblivious and stupid… Like I was, because I too didn't notice until her mask fell on the ground and revealed her identity.

I watched her eat silently and she occasionally rubbed her eyes in a sleepy act and I founded it adorable. After she finished eating, she put her mask back on and I felt a little bit frustrated and disappointed because I couldn't kiss her face.

"Are we leaving yet?" She asked and looked around, our hut was almost empty. "They are eating outside, we should leave soon." She nodded and rested her head against the wall behind her.

"I am sleepy…" Lily said and I smiled, talking her hand gently and then kissing it. "We will get to another village soon or camp outside and you will sleep again."

I admit we hadn't slept much on the last past days, especially Lily, since she stayed up on our first night out on the previous mission, then slept for only a couple of hours on the second, slept only a little on Castle Black and stayed awake until yesterday night. Not to mention that she did a lot of work that required her body.

I blushed when I remembered, but she didn't notice it, seeing that her eyes were closed. I laughed and she looked at me.

"One thing you should probably know about me… I love to sleep. Sadly, I don't do it much."

I looked around and removed her mask since there was no one on the hut and we would hear if someone walked in. I leaned closer and kissed her on the lips, initiating a heated and intense kiss. She touched my face and got closer, responding to every movement I did.

I slowly backed away after a few minutes, putting her mask back on. "Are you awake now?" I asked because I surely was. "Yes, thank you. You should to that more often; I will never be sleepy again."

Lily laughed and I joined her, hearing the door of the hut opening, I turned to look, Sam had walked in. "Oh, you are awake, Lee. We are almost leaving." He said, smiling.

"Crush, crush." I whispered while we got up and Lily smacked me on the back of the head, making Sam look confused and curious. "It is nothing, Sam, let's go." She said and got her bag, stuffing her coat back inside it.

She left me behind, walking next to Sam and I couldn't help but feel jealous about it. They were talking happily about something I couldn't hear what it was. Lily turned one time to look at me and laughed. I knew she was teasing me by being near to Sam.

I simply ignored it and walked faster to catch up to them, now next to Sam, who walked between us.

"So, Sam. I know you never had a girlfriend, but did you fell in love with someone?" She asked and I frowned, simply listening. "I don't think I did. I saw a lot of pretty girls, but no one made me fall in love. And you?"

"I did once. She was a great girl, black hair, gray eyes, had the most beautiful smile I've ever seen." I raised an eyebrow and paid more attention than before. "What happened?"

"Well… We couldn't be together. Our family didn't approve and she deserved someone better than me and when I joined the Night's Watch I decided to forget her." She was talking about us, wasn't she?

"Have you forgotten?" I asked before Sam, making her look at me. "I didn't. I don't think I ever will. I can't forget someone you loved, and if it is true love, it won't go away, no matter how hard you try, how far you go. "

Our eyes locked for several seconds in a silence conversation. Sam was the first to speak. "Wow, Lee, you are really wise." She turned away from me and looked at our chubby friend. "It is nothing, Sam, life taught us things we never expect to learn. You either learn and accept or you suffer."

We didn't speak for hours after this conversation, her words echoing on my head. You must accept and learn from that… But sometimes it is hard. It is our nature to need and want things we can't have or partially can't have. And we can't do anything about it…

Can we?


	9. Craster's Keep

**Chapter is up! Thank you so much for reading!**  
**I will begin changing the events now and hopefully it will end up nicely!**  
**I can't believe it is already chapter IX!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GoT or ASOIF, if I did, a lot of things would be different.  
**

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Chapter IX – Craster's Keep

**| Jon POV |**

Days passed and we kept walking North, village by village, they all empty and creating more questions to be answered.

The fourth village was a place called Whitetree, I remembered reading the name on one of Sam's books, we would camp there tonight.

We could see an enormous weirwood and approached to investigate further. The height was not scary at all if compared to the face it had. The mouth was really big, enough to keep an animal inside and the teeth looked blackened by fire.

I looked to my brothers and none of them seemed willing to approach the tree, so I did, kneeling down to look inside.

The floor inside the tree was filled with bones and skulls, but they didn't look like they belonged to animals. I reached for one skull, the jaw bone broken and I felt a little disgusted. But turned anyway and showed it to Lord Commander.

"The wildlings burn their dead. We've always known that. Now I wished I'd asked them why, when there were still a few around to ask." Lord Commander Mormont said. "So they won't come back…"

I heard someone whisper next to me and turned, Lily was standing there, looking the tree and I put the skull back, getting up.

"Let's see the houses, perhaps we will find something worth." Lord Commander said and we all nodded, stepping away from the tree, but Lily stood there, staring.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked once we were alone. "I have a bad feeling…" I stepped closer, touching her shoulder, but she didn't look to me. "What is it?"

"I feel none of us will return to the Wall after this expedition. The Gods tells me I am right." I shivered and looked to the tree then to her masked face. "Don't worry, we will. I didn't know you prayed to the Old Gods."

"I do… And they never lied to me…" Her voice wasn't more than just a whisper and I felt worried. "They are wrong this time, no one is going to die." I tried to sound more convinced than I actually was.

"Let's go." Lily said, turning and starting to walk back to the houses.

We spotted Sam and walked over to him. "Did you check the houses already?" I asked. "We did, there is nothing. It looks like no one ever lived there."

"We can camp on them at least." Lily said and we nodded. I saw her walk to the Lord Commander without saying a word.

**| Lily POV |**

I felt really intrigued about the feeling I was getting, the Gods never lied to me, they always told me the truth. I sensed Jon was worried, but I couldn't help being preoccupied myself.

Without saying anything I walked to Lord Commander Mormont, who was patting his crow. "Lord Commander, there is a river just north here, we should get water, our stock is running low."

He pondered for a while before talking. "Take Snow." I nodded. For some reason he really liked pairing me up with Jon, perhaps he thought we work well together.

"Jon, Lord Commander told us to get water." I announced before running off to take some gallons, he followed and helped me, I was holding two and he held four, but I couldn't complain, he was stronger than me after all.

We found the river after a while walking and luckily it wasn't frozen. I sat on the edge and started filling the gallons, feeling Jon's eyes on my back as he too filled his with water.

"Spit it out." I said after a while, not enduring the uncomfortable silence anymore. "I am worried."

"You don't need to be. I have a bad feeling, but it may be nothing." I sighed before saying, he shouldn't worry so much. "You don't believe that." He replied and sat next to me, I turned my face to look at him.

"I am fine, Jon." I said again and he took off my mask, staring directly at my eyes and I didn't move away. Jon moved my hair away from my face and I felt myself blushing. "I will protect you…" He whispered, moving closer and I felt his breath on my face, so tempting.

"Lee! Jon!" We heard Sam's voice and backed away. I took my mask and placed it on my face just in time before Sam saw us. That would be a really difficult scene to explain.

"Lord Commander sent me with more gallons!" He said, panting heavily and carrying two gallons. "That man forgot how it is to live out here." I said, sighing.

We helped Sam fill the gallons and started walking back, Sam and I tripped a few times because of the weight, but Jon looked perfectly fine.

"Look, Sam. Lord I Am Strong is right next to us." I mocked and Sam laughed, I smirked at the frown that appeared on Jon's face.

We returned to Whitetree and deposited the gallons on the horses so they could carry it.

Night was there and the sun had pretty much disappeared in the sky. Slowly, our brothers entered their huts and I was alone. The sky was filled with stars and I tried to read what they were saying.

"Alone again." I heard Jon say. "Stalking me again." I replied and he laughed, sitting next to me near the fire. "I couldn't sleep."

"Why?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the sky. "You weren't there by my side." I coughed and blushed like mad, turning to look at him. "D-Don't be silly, you don't need me to sleep!"

"Did I make you blush?" He asked, smirking and I blushed even harder. "No! Let's go!" I got up and put down the fire, grabbed his arm and pulled him to our hut. Like every night, I slept beside him, it was becoming a ritual.

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Days and more villages later we arrived in Craster's Keep. He is a disgusting old man who marry his own daughters and have children with them, then once they are of age, he marries the daughters of his daughters. Surprisingly, he never had boys, or so we thought.

Lord Commander guided us to meet with Craster and he sat with the old man, drinking our wine.

"He said he planned to stop here on his way to the Frostfangs." Lord Commander said, warming his hands on the fire. "People make all sorts of plans. I haven't seen Benjen Stark in three years. Haven't missed him, always treated me like scum."

"Haven't had any good wine for a long time. You southerners make good wine, I give you that." Craster said and our attention turned immediately to Jon's angry voice. "We're not southerners."

"Who is this pretty girl? You are prettier than half my daughters." I felt angry now, only I could mock Jon and I did it joking. That man wasn't joking.

"You got a nice wet cunt between your legs? What is your name?"

Lord Commander looked at me, not liking the tense air growing between Jon and Craster, I nodded and walked slowly to Jon. "Jon Snow."

"Snow, huh? Now listen to me, bastard. All of you are from south of the Wall. You are southerners. And now you are in the North, the real North." His voice was dangerous and I grabbed Jon's arm and pulled him out of the tent.

"The boy meant no harm." Lord Commander said, trying to ease the situation. "If I get this bastard talking to my daughter…" Was the last thing I heard before we were far enough. Jon freed his arm from my grip harshly, pushing me to the side.

"What were you thinking?!" I asked, angry. "We are not southerners."

"And that doesn't mean you can go picking fights with everyone who say so. He is Craster, we need him." I tried to reason with him, but I saw the frustration kept on his face. "Calm down." I said slowly and dangerously, and I think he sensed danger because he became instantly quiet.

"You have to pick your fights carefully and Craster is not a good choice." I muttered, not softening my tone. "Sorry… I am sorry I pushed you…"

"It is alright, you were angry. Now… Behave. I have the feeling Craster is lying." I said after looking around to see if there was anyone hearing us. "Why?"

"Something on his eyes told me so." Jon pondered for a few seconds before sighing. "How do we get him to talk?"

"Him? No, not him. Craster's Keep has eyes, many eyes and some of them are eager to talk." We looked around and eyed the girls who worked without paying attention to us and I knew he understood what I meant.

We saw Lord Commander Mormont walking out after a few moments and he went straight to Jon, pushing him against a wall.

"Who am I?" He asked completely angry. "Lord Commander Mormont." Jon replied.

"And who are you?" Lord Commander then asked.

"Jon Snow." He answered unsure. "Who are you?" Lord Commander asked again, more hispid.

"Your steward." Jon answered, still with insecurity on his voice. I was beginning to feel like punching Lord Commander.

"Do you want to lead one day?" He asked and Jon merely nodded. "Then learn how to follow." He released Jon and looked at me.

"I know what you are thinking, Peis. Not in a million years." He said, looking at my eyes and I didn't reply. He walked away.

"What a lovely man." I said sarcastically and Jon laughed. "Let's go set camp." I said, pushing him playfully toward the others.

When we got near the others, Dolorous Edd was making fart sounds and I scowled. "Seriously? What are you? Five?" He grinned and I rolled my eyes, seeing Sam following a girl with his head, I could so see his neck snapping.

"Samwell." I called, slapping him on the back of the head. "Seems a bit greedy for one man to have so many wives." He said, ignoring my slap and still looking. "Wouldn't two or three be enough for him?"

"We were having a serious discussion." Dolorous Edd said and Grenn laughed. "We are lucky, we don't need even one." Grenn said sarcastically. I felt a little uncomfortable and looked at Jon, he looked back at me.

"Would you look at that…" Grenn said, sighing, he too was staring at the girls. "Nothing like the sight of a woman walking away, right Jon?"

I looked at Jon, waiting for his reply, but it didn't come and Grenn spoke. "I prefer watching them come towards me."

"I am sure that's nice too." Sam said and I sighed again, Jon's hand touched my shoulder in a consolation act. "Yeah, well, there was a milkmaid named Violet on the next farm over from where I grew up. We were wrestling together from the time we were six years old. And then we got older and the wrestling, uh… Changed."

"Come on, boys! We can't discuss these matters, we will never be able to practice them anyway." I tried to change the subject, but I felt like I was invisible.

"You were with her? How many times?" Sam asked, really interested in the story. "Well, as many times as I could."

"I wish I grew up on a farm…" Sam said dreamingly. "We need more potatoes." Dolorous Edd said and I felt really grateful, so much I could actually kiss him. "I will go get them." I excused myself, but Sam called. "I will go."

Well, at least it was one less mouth to talk about it. I watched him go away and tapped Dolorous Edd on the shoulder. "Seems like you have everything under control."

Then I walk away also, with Jon behind me. I am ranger, not a cooker, I can't even cook.

Jon and I sat away from the others, there was no one near to bother and he picked up his sword to sharpen it. "Your sword is pretty." I complimented and he smiled at me. "I shouldn't have gotten it, you were the one who saved Lord Commander."

"I don't mind, I wouldn't use it anyway, it suits you better." He kept smiling at me, but his smiled died when Sam approached us, he was with a girl.

"What are you doing?" We asked at the same time. "This is Gilly. She is one of Craster's daughters…"

"Hello, Gilly. What are you doing?" Jon greeted her kindly, but turned to Sam and spoke harshly, I laughed at this. "Sam said you can help."

"We can't. I am sorry, but Sam knows…" I spoke, looking at her. "She is pregnant." Sam cut me and I held my breath. We waited for him to continue talking.

"We have to take her with us when we leave." Sam said. That guy really doesn't think with his head, does he? "What?" Jon hissed, letting go of his sword and getting up.

"What would that…"

"I know it sounds a bit mad." Sam intervened again and I just watched. "No, it doesn't sound a bit mad, it's impossible. Lord Commander ordered us to…"

"We are sworn to protect." Sam said and I felt bad for him, he was clearly only trying to help. "Sam, we can't take…"

"Please, ser, please." The girl named Gilly asked, she couldn't be more than fifteen years old and was already pregnant. "I can still run if I have to."

"It's just not possible." Jon said again, but I knew I was ending up siding with Sam. "I'm going to have a baby. If it's a boy…" She couldn't finish.

"If it's a boy what?" Jon asked, not containing the angry tone. "You want us to risk our lives for you and you won't even tell us why?" She looked frightened and stepped back, running away.

"Why'd you do that?" Sam almost yelled in despair. And I got up, knowing they probably had forgotten I was there. "I will go talk to her."

"Lee, you can't be seen with her." Jon said and I shut him up with the glare I gave him, then walked away, following the steps from the girl.

I found her crying behind one house and sat next to her, she jumped in surprise.

"That's alright, I won't hurt you. I wanted to apologize for Jon's behavior. He is not a bad person, but he loves what he does and cannot risk everything for something he doesn't fully know."

Gilly looked at her feet, apparently calmer than before.

"I know how it feels to hide secrets… And I know how it feels to be scared. But you can't live with fear." She looked at me, with tears in her eyes.

"If I show you my secret… Can you tell me yours…?" I asked and she nodded gently a few times. Slowly I removed my mask, showing my face to her, she gasped. "You… Are a woman?"

"I am… But no one knows except for Jon, I owe him my life. So please don't tell anyone." She blinked, trying to process the information.

"He leaves them… My husband leaves the boys on the woods for the Gods… So they will be kind to us." Sacrifice… He is sacrificing the boys… I felt like immediately killing that man.

I put the mask back on my face so no one would see me if they walked nearby. "Before I help you… I need to know one thing…"

"What?" She asked, with hope on her voice. "Did you see a tall man, long black hair, long beard, pointy face around here lately?"

Gilly thought for a few minutes, trying to remember. "I did! I saw a man like that a few weeks ago, maybe, he was alone and only asked for water and left again."

"Did Craster see him?" I asked, wanting to know why Craster lied. "I don't think so, he passed by really quickly. I think we went East."

"Thank you, Gilly. I will do anything I can to help you." I touched her shoulder and got up, going back to where Sam and Jon were waiting.

"So?" Jon asked, looking down at me. "He kills the boys, as sacrifice to the Gods." Sam and Jon's expression demonstrated how shocked they were. "And there is more…"

"More?" Jon asked and I nodded. "She saw your uncle here a few weeks ago, Craster didn't see him, he just asked for water and left. He went East."

"We must tell Lord Commander!" Sam said, excited. "No. I will." I said, walking away to find Lord Commander.

He was sitting alone, probably thinking.

"Lord Commander, may I speak to you?" I asked, getting near. "What did you find?" Of course he knew I wasn't going to obey and stay quiet.

"Benjen Stark was seen a few weeks ago by the girls. They said he went East." He sighed and looked at me. "We march East then."

"No, I don't think it is a good idea. You have to meet Qhorin Halfhand. I will go, take a shortcut through the river and arrive on the Frostfangs before you." He stared at me without speaking for minutes. "Fine. I can spare twenty men."

"I need two." He smirked in disbelief, but I kept my voice serious. "Two? Who would these two be?"

"Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly." He laughed, of course no one would want to take Sam, but I had my reasons.

"Two stewards!" He still laughed. "One is a shitty steward and better ranger. He needs experience. I can give it to him. And Samwell knows this place, he has memorized maps. We would leave as soon as the sun comes out."

"Fine. Don't die out there, Peis." I nodded and walked away, returning to my brothers.

"We leave first thing in the morning, just the three of us." I emphasized the word three and I knew they understood what I meant.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day and we would be on our own. I could protect myself out here, but can I protect them?


	10. Shadow in the night

**One more chapter is up! **  
**I am keeping myself busy writing since I was supposed to be studying, but I am not. lol**  
**I hope you guys are enjoying! Thank you for reading!**

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Chapter X – Shadow in the night

**| Lily POV |**

"Are you sure it is wise?" Jon's voice came next to me. We were sitting outside the hut where we would be camping for the night, all our brothers inside sleeping and there was no one around, including Crasters and his wives.

"We need to help her. She sought for help." I answered, sighing. "I am afraid I won't be able to protect all of you…" I admitted, looking straight ahead for the nothingness in front of us. I felt Jon's hand on mine, holding protectively.

"I will be there with you, I will help." He said and I smiled weakly, even though he couldn't see because of my mask, I spoke again. "Actually, the thing I am more afraid of is Sam falling in love with her or doing something stupid."

"Maybe we shouldn't bring him." I pondered, turning to look at Jon who stared at me. "We can't do this to him. He is the one who wanted to help in the first place." He simply nodded.

The night was colder than usual and the wind was strong, making my hair fly on my face because my hood just didn't stay on the right place and was always falling. Jon too was struggling with his hair, it flew and hit his face all the time.

"Wild hair." I said, laughing a little. "Do you want me to cut it for you? I think you would look lovely bald."

"I like my hair." He said, frowning and I laughed a little harder. "I like it too. And you would freeze without hair." I pushed mine away from my eyes, still smiling at his struggle. He sat closer when saw me shrunk because of the cold.

"Do you want to walk a little before we go to bed?" I didn't feel sleepy and maybe a walk would keep me warm. I nodded and got up, releasing my hand from his. We couldn't risk being caught and get into trouble, so we would walk near our hut.

There was a small forest near the Keep, so we made our way there, the trees blocking a little the wind so it wasn't so freezing. Soon we couldn't see Craster's Keep anymore and it was dark, but not enough to make us blind.

I removed my mask, feeling the air on my face, and I could see a little better this way.

"Oh, Jon, I should tell you something…" Jon looked at me curiously and stopped walking, I did the same. "I told Gilly I am a woman."

His eyes widened and I could see flashes of angry on his features. He quickly walked to me and stopped inches away from my body, grabbing my arms without strength, but firmly. "You did what?!"

"I told her. No, I showed her. She won't tell, she needs our help." I kept calm and looked to his face. "What is she does?!" He hissed angrily.

"She won't." I said again, with conviction, but still calm.

"I can't lose you…" He whispered and I saw fear on his eyes. I knew he was afraid she would tell anyone and the repercussions it would have. I would be killed and he would probably too because he had hidden my secret.

"You won't…" I whispered, dropping my mask and touching his face with both my hands, looking inside his eyes, how I loved these eyes. "You won't…" I reassured and leaned in, touching his lips with mine really firmly.

Our lips began dancing together slowly and I felt Jon's hands moving from my arms to my waist and he grabbed it tightly, pulling me closer and against his body and I wrapped my arms around his neck, grasping his hair with one hand.

Our kiss deepened and he asked for entrance, which I gave, my tongue begun caressing his as he controlled the pace and the kiss only became more intense.

I felt my coat fall on the floor and we parted, grasping for air. We hadn't been intimate since we left Castle Black and it was over weeks ago. My desires were piling up and winning from the small part of me that was afraid we might get caught.

I pulled him into another kiss and he pushed me gently, making my back hit a wall, I lowered my hands to begin removing his coat, while I felt his hands opening my breeches.

My pant fell on the floor with my underwear and I kicked it to the side, also freeing him from his. He made me turn and pressed me against the tree, forcing me to bend down, my back turned to him. After seconds I felt Jon's length entering me from behind and I moaned, closing my eyes.

He gave me a few moments to get accustomed before he begun moving. Our desires and lusts were so intense that we didn't want to wait or we would explode. Jon's groans soon were reunited with mines. His pace increasing quickly and I bent even more.

I never imagined I would ever be in this position before, Jon made me feel so many things I never had before. I felt his lips touching my neck and he bit and sucked it, making me shiver and moan a little more loudly. His hands roamed on my legs and pulled me closer as he moved.

I moaned his name loudly when reached my climax and I could feel he had too, because he didn't pull away until after his seeds were inside me. My legs trembled and I tried to breathe properly. Jon breathed on my ear, also heavily and he hugged me by the waist, keeping his body close.

"Jon… I love you…" I whispered, holding his hands firmly. "I love you too…" He said in my ear and I smiled.

After a few minutes we stepped back and gathered our clothes, putting them back on. I saw a shadow running and turned to Jon and by the look on his face he had seen it too.

I got my mask of the ground and Jon got his sword and we begun chasing the shadow while I hid myself with the mask. A hundred of thoughts were going on my mind. If someone had seen us, I would be doomed, Jon would be doomed. It would be all over.

After a few minutes we finally stopped, because the shadow had stopped too. It had its back to us and we approached slowly, I saw Jon get Longclaw out of the sheath and I put my iron gloves on.

"Hey, you!" I called, my voice husky and the person turned. The man was awfully pale, his eyes and lips completely blue and he looked lifeless. White Walker.

"Jon, run!" I demanded and the creature ran to us, really quickly, not giving us much time to respond. I blocked one attack after making Jon step out of the way and hit the White Walker on the stomach. If he was a normal man, he would have fallen on the ground in pain, but he had no vital points, he had no life, my attacks were useless.

Jon hadn't obeyed me, he was still there and swung his sword to cut the White Walker's arm when it came at me full force, trying to hit my face. Luckily this one had no weapon, they these creatures were incredibly strong and one hit could make a lot of damage.

I kicked it on the chest, making it take a few steps back and Jon was quick, he attacked and the monster's head fell on the floor, he was dead.

"What are you doing out here?" We heard a voice, Craster's voice. Jon pushed me to the side so I would be hidden on a tree, I knew he hoped Craster hadn't seen me.

"Snow, huh? You have the guts to go out here and peek?!" He yelled, Jon opened his mouth to answer, but received an immediate punch on the face, that made him fall backwards. I begin to move toward him, but his eyes were on me and told me not to do anything.

The sun was beginning to come down when Craster stopped hitting Jon and picked him up, I followed without being noticed. He was going back to the Keep.

Once we were back, me without being noticed, he threw Jon the ground, right in front of Lord Commander Mormont's feet. "That stupid brat came meddling in other people's business! If he tries something else, I will kill him!"

Craster left and all our brothers looked at Jon shocked, his face was completely bloodied and I swear his nose was broken. I revealed myself and faked shock, then kneeled down in front of him.

"What did you do, Snow?!" Lord Commander asked. "I was… Taking a piss outside and saw a White Walker… I fought him and when I killed it, Craster appeared and didn't give me time to explain myself."

"Mend yourself and leave, we can't afford any more fights!" He yelled and left with all the other brothers, leaving me with Jon.

My face was completely wet because of the tears I couldn't keep while I watched him getting beat up. Jon touched my mask and wiped it, a strange smile on his face because his lip was cut.

"Jon…" I gasped, more tears coming down on my face. "Shh… I am fine… I couldn't let him see you… If I hit him back… You would be spotted…"

"Jon! What happened?!" Sam came in, asking before I could say anything. "Craster saw me walking at night. Go prepare our supplies for us to go." Sam nodded and left.

"Come… I will clean your wounds…" I pulled Jon up, he was limping a little and I walked with him to an isolated corner and grabbed a bag with medical supplies. "Take off your shirt." I demanded and he obeyed, shivering because of the cold wind.

I got some serum and begun cleaning his wounds, his chest was completely bruised just like his face and it killed me to see him like that, knowing I had just stood there without doing anything.

"Don't blame yourself, my love…" He whispered, knowing I was blaming myself and I was still crying. My heart hurt so much and I wanted to hug him. I couldn't answer and just kept taking care of his wounds, touching them as gentle as possible, he winced once on a while, luckily his nose wasn't broken, just had a cut and was bloodied.

Jon put his shirt and coat back on once I was done, but didn't move from his spot, just looking at me intently and I returned his gaze, my eyes were a little red from the crying and still had a few remaining tears.

"Lily… I don't regret… I won't regret… If he had seen you… You would have been beat up too and he would probably discover your identity…" I already knew that, but the fact that I stood there and watched killed me.

I looked around and there was no one, then I touched his chest with my forehead, allowing the tears to come out once more. He touched the back of my head and caressed it gently, my hood was still down and my hair was free.

We heard footsteps and I stepped away, stopping crying and recomposing myself.

"Hey, guys, everything is ready for us to leave. Lee, I didn't know your hair was like that." It was Sam again and he was staring directly at me. I gathered all my strength to speak and husky my voice.

"I was bald once, but the cold made me grow my hair." I answered, not trying to hide my hair now that he had seen it. "It is really nice." He complimented and I smiled. "I am not into guys, Sam." I joked and he laughed, Jon too, but I saw deep in his eyes that he was glaring.

"We should go. Craster will go crazy if he sees me here." Jon said, getting up and I followed, pulling the hood over my head. "I prepared one horse to travel our supplies, we will have to walk and I already told Lord Commander we are leaving."

"Alright, let's go." I said and we walked to our horse and I picked the rein to make the horse walk.

When we were already a mile away, we spotted Gilly, she was sitting with a bag and got up when she saw us. Sam looked incredibly happy and I elbowed him on the ribs.

"Hey, Gilly. Thank you for meeting us so far. I just realized I forgot to tell you my name. I am Lee Peis." She smiled at me, only nodding her head. "Well, we all know about your condition, so, can you ride?"

She shook her head and I sighed. I looked at Jon, but the thought of him riding with another girl made me incredibly jealous, then I looked at Sam. He was probably going to get excited, but I knew he was going to get tired of walking too, Jon and I were more resistant.

"Sam, you ride with her, I know you will get tired if you walk too much." He blushed furiously and nodded, getting on the horse. I helped Gilly mount too and I knew she felt a little uncomfortable judging by the look on her face. Luckily Sam was keeping a few inches of distance between their bodies.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jon asked, whispering on my ear. "Do you want me to mount with her?" He frowned and didn't answer, but I knew he didn't find it a very good idea.

"Sam, do you have a map with you or something?" I asked, looking at him. "Yes, it's on the bag."

I picked the map and opened it, it was incredibly simple and didn't have many details or locations, but it was enough to get us to the Frostfangs.

"There is a shortcut right here. It's not on the map, but I used once and since we are weeks behind Benjen, it will be really helpful." Jon was looking over my shoulder, his face too close to mine and I did my best to ignore it.

"Sounds good to me." He replied, not moving away and I couldn't stop staring at him from the corner of my eyes and completely forgot about the map in front of me and the two other people just foots away.

I touched one of his cuts gently and he looked at me, smiling. I coughed and stepped away, closing the map and putting it back on the bag.

"Lee, what is this on your neck?" Sam asked and I looked at him. "What?" I replied. "There is a dark mark on your neck. Did you hurt yourself?" I blushed deeply and touched my neck, I hadn't hurt myself, it was Jon's doing. "Yeah, I hit it last night."

Jon was looking, his eyes a little widened and he looked at my neck, he too knew what it was.

"L-Let's go." I said and Sam nodded, taking the rein, he kicked the horse and it begun walking. Jon and I walked side by side and I avoided looking at him, not because of the hickey or the eye contact we had moments ago, but because I still felt really bad because of his bruises.

Our journey had just begun and I already failed to protected.


	11. Yes or no

**Chapter is up!**  
**Thank you so much for reading. I hope you guys are enjoying it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GoT or ASOIF, if I did, a lot of things would be different.**

* * *

Chapter XI – Yes or no

**| Jon POV |**

We have been walking for two days and like Lily had said, the passage on the river was exactly there, but we still had a long way to go and our journey was nowhere near the end.

I looked from the corner of my eyes Sam that was talking to Gilly about history and things like that, they had been getting too close for my liking. But as long as they remained only talking and not making any body contact, I would be fine with it.

The two weren't the thing that worried me the most. Lily had been really distant since we left Craster's Keep and she always walked far and didn't speak to me unless it was necessary. She was so close, yet so far and I missed her.

"Let's camp here, night is coming." She announced while stop walking. The horse stopped too and I did as well, looking around. There was nothing but a few trees and snow around us.

"Should I make a fire?" Sam asked, once he was standing on the floor. "No fires." She said shortly. "We will freeze out here!" Sam cried, but her tone was simple and straight. "No fire."

Said that, she walked away, probably to search the perimeter to make sure it was really safe to camp.

"What has gotten into him?" Sam asked, standing next to me. "He is probably worried about the mission, don't mind him." I said, but in reality I had no idea of why Lily was behaving so coldly. I would speak to her later.

We arranged a small camp with some blankets to lay down near the trees, it would be harder to spot us if we were hidden. "How is our food, Sam?" I asked and he turned to look at me. "It's fine, will last for at last a week and a half."

"Good, good…" I sat on the floor, taking my sword out to lean on it, watching as Sam sat with Gilly and begun talking about old stories he read on his books.

I still had some cuts and bruises all over my body and it ached sometimes when my clothes touched them, but I was healing nicely.

After a few minutes Lily came back and I looked at her, but she didn't look me back. "Gilly, there is a river just ahead, you can wash yourself if you feel like it." She said and the young woman smiled and got up. "Thank you."

"I will escort you to make sure no one tries to peek." Lily said, glaring at Sam for several seconds and I muffled laughter.

**| Lily POV |**

Avoiding Jon was being hard for me, but I couldn't look at him and not feel guilty, the bruises on his face were a reminder of how wrong my acts were. I shouldn't be in the Night's Watch, putting him on jeopardy. I shouldn't love him…

I walked with Gilly to the river, it wasn't so cold so she could at least wash herself a little. I removed my mask once it was safe and kneeled down on the edge of the river and splashed the water on my face, sighing deeply.

"Why are you at the Night's Watch?" She asked and I looked up to her. "Well… My father died when I was young when our village was sacked… And since them I decided to protect people. The Night's Watch accepts you despise who you are, unless you are a woman of course."

"Isn't it dangerous…?" She was washing her arms and legs and I turned to the wood, putting my mask back on. "It is." I couldn't think of a better answer or a more complete one.

"Have you thought about leaving?" She sure was curious. "Recently I've been thinking about it… Disappear during this mission. No one would come looking, for them I am Lee Peis, but without my mask I am Lily."

"Why do you want to go…?" I felt a little frustrated because of all the questions and scratched my head. "I put Jon in danger because of my identity. That's why Craster beat him, because he was hiding me."

Gilly gasped and touched my shoulder sympathetically. "He looks like a good friend." A good friend… Friend… He isn't only a friend.

"He is…" I smiled at her. "Are you done?" I got up while asking, she nodded. "Let's go back then, it's getting dark."

We returned to the improvised camp and she sat next to Sam, they were getting really friendly, but who am I to judge?

Jon was looking at me and I looked away, but heart beating fast. Maybe I should talk to him… Or pretend I am fine and that there's nothing wrong. Hesitantly I walked to him, sitting by his side, looking to the ground without saying a word.

The silence between us was uncomfortable and I shifted sometimes on my place as time flew by. Sam and Gilly fell asleep next to each other for more warmth since there was no fire to keep us warm. The young girl shivered sometimes and I removed my own coat, placing it over her body. She was pregnant, she needed special care.

Now I was freezing and went back to my spot next to Jon, trying to hide the shivers.

"You are cold…" I heard his voice, but ignored and kept looking straight. "Lily…" He called and I looked at him. "I am fine, Jon."

"For how long are you going to behave like this?" He asked low, trying not to wake up the two near us. "I am acting normal." No, I am not.

"Sure you are." He said sarcastically and I glared. "At least let me stay close to keep you warm…" He asked, approaching his body slowly, part of me told me to back away, but I couldn't.

"Don't walk away from me…" Jon whispered, his face closer to mine. My mind went numb for a few seconds and I groaned after regaining my senses, he was killing me. Without thinking much, I stood up and walked away into the trees, it was already dark.

"Lily!" He called and I knew he was following me, once we were out of sight I felt his hand on my arm and he forced me to stop and turn to him. "What?!" I shouted.

"What is going on?" He asked, more demanded and I felt angry, my breathing was heavy and I saw the smoke coming out of my mask because of the cold.

"We need to end this." The expression on his face killed me, it was pure pain and I knew my own expression was identical, my chest hurt so much and it made all the anger I felt minutes before go away.

"What…?" He whispered, taking a step closer, he was still holding my arm and I didn't move. "You got hurt because of me… We were almost found out… We can't continue with this, it is too dangerous…" My voice barely came out in a whisper and I looked away.

"Look at me… Look at me, Lily." I removed my mask and look at his face, the same pained expression from before and I fought to keep my tears from falling. "Stop talking nonsense… I am not letting you go…"

"Continuing is not an option…" I whispered, looking away. "Letting you go is not an option." Jon's voice was strong like I never heard before, yet his face still showed pain and sadness. "Jon…"

"Shut up."

"Jon…"

"Shut up." His hands touched my face and I looked into his eyes, they were firm yet full with emotion. I melted with his touch and couldn't look away or move. "Shut up, Lily…" Jon whispered, his face inches away now.

I couldn't stand being so close without doing anything. I leaned closer and pressed my lips against his with full force. The kiss wasn't soft or slow, it was deep and strong with so many emotions.

His hands left my face and he wrapped his arms around my waist strongly, pulling me closer while I grabbed his hair with one hand and embraced him by the chest with the other arm.

I didn't mind the lack of air in my lungs, I couldn't pull away and by his desperation, he couldn't either. Our lips parted slightly when Jon's hands travelled to my legs and pulled me out of the ground and I wrapped them around his waist. My back hit a tree and we restarted the kiss with even more passion than before.

Jon pressed his waist against mine with strength, but pulled his face away and I groaned in frustration. "Do you still want to go?" He asked, looking directly at my eyes and my frustration eased when I saw the look on his eyes.

It was clear Jon too was feeling the same desire I did, I could tell because of his waist pressed against mine, but his eyes showed so much more. I could see love, passion, need, yet so much fear.

"I won't go… I just don't want you to get hurt…" I whispered, holding his face with both hands gently, his forehead touched mine. "I won't get hurt…"

"Promise…?" I closed my eyes, just feeling his breaths on my face. "I promise…" His lips touched mine really gently, differently from all the heat from before.

"Jon? Lee?" We heard Sam's voices and Jon turned to see that he was really close and could see us. His eyes widened in shock and he kept staring.

"You and… Lee… Are gay…?" I coughed then started laughing, he couldn't see my face because Jon was standing in front of me. He set me down on the floor and I grabbed my stomach because it was hurting from all the laughing.

"I am not gay!" Jon hissed while frowning. "I am a woman, Sam." I admitted and he got closer to see, a growing blush appearing on his face.

"I… I talked about girls in front of you! I took a piss in front of you!" He seemed really shocked and I was still laughing, leaning on a tree. "I didn't look, if that comforts you." Sam blushed harder and Jon was still frowning.

"You can't tell, Samwell." Jon said seriously and I could sense the danger on his voice, and by the way Sam looked frightened, so did he. "S-She is a woman on the Night's Watch, it is a crime!" He yelled and Jon censored him with his glare.

"Yet, I am a better brother than you are." I didn't mean to offend him, I was just stating a fact.

"And you are sleeping with Jon… Which means you two broke the oath…" I felt a little uncomfortable with his statement, but there was no way we could deny because he caught us in a very self-explaining position.

"If you think about saying anything, Samwell, I will kill you before you begin the first word." Jon had taken Longclaw out of the sheath and was approaching Sam dangerously. I had never sensed an aura like that coming from him, he looked dangerous and I strangely found it really attractive.

"It's alright, Jon, he won't say anything. If he does, we could say that he escaped with a girl, one of Craster's wives." He had shrunken from fear, which means our intimidation plan had worked.

"I won't say anything… I won't, I swear." He whispered and Jon put away his sword. "Wise boy. We didn't mean to intimidate you, Sam, but we needed to know if you were going to say." I said, standing next to Jon.

"You are my friends… I won't…" I smiled at his phrase and he looked at me, blushing. "You are a girl…" He said. "Oh, duh. Seriously, you guys can be dumb when you want."

Jon was still tense and I touched his arm gently, trying to calm him down, his muscles were stiff because of the tension.

"Go back to Gilly, Sam, we will join you in a minute." I said and he nodded, walking away quite fast.

I turned to Jon who hadn't moved an inch yet and walked to stay in front of him, looking up to his face. "Jon…" He hesitantly looked down to my face and I smiled. "It's alright. He won't tell."

"How do you know? He said himself it is a crime, we broke our oath, we are doing something wrong." His harsh voice came at me like a punch and my smile disappeared. "I am sorry…" Was all I could say before walking back to the camp.

~\~/~

Since that night on the woods I hadn't spoken to Jon, not even a single word, I hadn't even looked at him. Sam sensed the tension between us and did his best to tell jokes and avoid the topic of me being a woman.

The way Jon had spoken, the way he said that what we were doing was wrong had hurt me so deeply and I could still hear his words even though it was two nights ago.

But what hurt more was that in only one night he had changed his way of seeing the situation. He claimed he didn't mind the danger, but not an hour after he said it was wrong. It confused and hurt me.

We had reached another part of the river, but this one didn't have a shortcut, we were going to have to cross the freezing water.

"Gilly, stay up on the horse with Sam, I don't want you to freeze." I said and she nodded, smiling thankfully. I pulled the rein and stepped into the water, it felt like a thousand knives were cutting through my body, but I ignored, maybe the water would wash away the pain.

Jon was on the other side of the horse and walked on the water too, that was getting deep and deep until we had to swim instead of walk.

Luckily the river was short and we reached the other side in no time, I shivered like mad because of my completely wet clothes.

"You are freezing." Gilly said, walking to me and putting her coat over my shoulders. "I am fine… I just need to change my clothes…" I smiled at her and returned her coat, slowly walking to the trees with my bag.

I stripped slowly, every movement causing a little bit of pain because of the cold. I knew she was going to keep Sam busy so there was no way he would peek. I was completely naked and was drying myself with a piece of cloth when I heard steps coming from behind me and turned quickly, covering my body with the cloth.

"Jon!" I yelled, seeing him get near, he too was wet, his face got red when he saw me and I blushed myself. "S-Sorry, I didn't know you were here." He said, but did not take his eyes away from my body.

"Stop staring!"

Jon muttered a sorry and turned around, beginning to take his clothes off as well, I just stood there staring at his body. "I know you are staring." He said and I blushed even more. "I am not!"

I turned away quickly, stooping and picking up some clothes from my bag so I could change.

"Lily…" I heard his voice after a while and looked to his direction, Jon was standing next to me, wearing only pants and I blushed deeply at the sight. "I am sorry…" He said, kneeling down next to me.

"You were right, what we were doing is illegal and was against our oath." I made sure to put every word on the past, he got closer to me.

"I am probably late, you must hate me… But I don't care… I don't care if it is illegal and about the oath… I don't care about the Night's Watch." I blinked several times, confused by his sudden confession. "What do you mean…?"

"I mean that it may have taken me a while to realize… But I don't want to be a brother anymore." I felt even more confused, being in the Night's Watch was everything Jon ever wanted and now he didn't want anymore?

"I don't follow, Jon." I had forgotten completely about how cold I was feeling because the only clothes I was wearing were a pant and a light shirt.

"Run away with me." My ears must have been mistaken; there was no way Jon Snow would have said that. "I have water on my ears, I didn't hear you right." I said, patting my ears gently, he laughed and held my hands with his.

"I said: Run away with me. A brother of the Night's Watch should take no wives, father no children, they must die at their post without love. I don't want that anymore." I didn't know what to say or think, so I just stared at him, my mouth partially open.

"We would become deserters…" I whispered after a moment of silence. "Yes, but it is nothing compared to how many illegal things we already did and how many times we did it." I blushed madly, understanding what he was saying and he laughed.

"Just say: yes or no?"


	12. River deep, mountain high

**Chapter is up! Thank you so much for reading!**

**Carlypso: Would someone dare to say no? It's Jon, for God's sake, hehe.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own GoT or ASOIF, if I did, a lot of things would be different.**

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Chapter XII – River deep, mountain high

**| Jon POV |**

I stared at Lily straight in the eyes, waiting for her reply; her mouth was a little open and she blushed furiously. I knew I was asking much from her, she probably never thought about leaving the Night's Watch.

But neither did I, not until days ago, when she said we had to end our relationship. It killed me to hear that and then I realized that I didn't want to do something illegal and against our oath, I didn't want to be caged in a place I didn't feel like I belonged to.

"Jon… Are you being serious?" Lily finally said something, still with shock on her face and I slowly got closer. "I am… You are the only thing, the only one I want to be bounded with."

"Stop joking, Jon, it isn't funny…" She had shrunken a little bit and looked really vulnerable, her blue eyes looking into mine with so much emotions. "I am not joking. We can go on with this, hiding how we feel and pretending nothing ever happened. We could even go back to sneaking in to be together. Or we could run away and stop fooling ourselves pretending we are happy on the Wall."

I touched her arms gently, pulling her closer against my body in a gentle embrace, Lily didn't move away and leaned her head against my chest. "You don't have to answer right away, I can wait as long as you need… But don't ignore me, it hurts too much."

We sat there, on the freezing snow, but it didn't matter, I didn't feel cold because her body was against mine and it kept me warm. I knew she was considering, she was a smart woman, she wouldn't rush into something without giving it much thoughts before.

"You won't regret…?" Lily asked after a really long time, not moving her head away from my chest. "I won't." I guaranteed her, kissing the top of her head gently.

"Yes… I want to be with you, without hiding, without the guilt…" I smiled widely and hugged her stronger, wishing I didn't have to let her go.

"I love you… I love you so much…" I said, hiding my face on her neck, I felt like crying of happiness. She wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing me closer and I closed my eyes, feeling all the fear and insecurity going away.

"I love you too, Jon…" Lily whispered and I pulled her closer, she wasn't wearing a mask and I took advantage of it, kissing her on the lips really gently.

"We should go back… Sam is probably getting worried." She said after a while and I nodded, getting up and then putting my clothes back on, the minute I let go of her body, the cold stroked really strong.

Lily too got dressed and we returned to our camp, her mask back on her face and I felt relieved that she had put it on, only I could see her face, it didn't matter who else knew her secret.

"You guys sure took long. Is everything alright?" Sam asked and I could guess that he was thinking that we had done something inappropriate out there. "Yes, everything is fine, we were talking."

"We still have a few hours before night, let's move." Lily said before Sam could make any comment and I felt really thankful and smirked. We gathered our stuff and resumed our walk, our speed was good considering that we had a pregnant woman with us; gladly we had taken one horse.

Lily led the way, but different from before, there was no cold aura coming out of her and she looked at me time to time and I could tell she was smiling because of the shine in her eyes, that made me smile.

Two hours later we set camp in a safe area near the river that was just north, it helped us not to lost track of the way we were supposed to go. Sam was preparing our food with Gilly while Lily looked at the map we had, I got near her and sat on the floor by her side.

"What is worrying you?" I asked, not needing to see her face to know that she was worried about something. "I am afraid we don't have enough food. We are camping here." She pointed to an area on the map. "And our destination is the Frostfangs here. On our speed, it should take around two more weeks."

"It doesn't look that far on the map." I said, tracing the way with one finger. "On the map it isn't. But we will have to walk on the Skirling Pass, it is known for habiting Wildlings." I could see why she was worried now.

"Winter is coming, they flee during winter. We can use it to our advantage. Also, we can keep walking near the edge of the river, avoiding the middle, where is more probable we will find Wildlings." I suggested and she kept looking at the map, thoughtful.

"I think I have underestimated you, Jon Snow." I smiled widely and Lily looked at me. "But we need to find more food, I hope all of you eat fish."

We ate and prepared to sleep, Lily wouldn't, like always, she never slept, even though it wasn't her time to keep watch. Sam was laying with Gilly on a corner, I swear they are getting too close.

Lily sat next to me, her eyes alert to our surroundings, but I was more interested on watching her than paying attention to the places around us.

"Is there something on my mask?" She asked after hours of silence and I jumped at the sound of her voice, blushing because she had realized I was indeed staring, still she hadn't looked at me once. "No, but I find it very interesting to watch every move you make."

"I am not moving." She replied and I smiled. "Your eyes are." She looked at me for the first time and I stared down to her icy blue eyes, differently from when he met, they were warm now.

I gently removed her mask, reveling her face, she was blushing slightly, I could see it despise the darkness around us. I touched her face with one hand and she leaned in to my touch, closing her eyes. I looked at Sam and Gilly, they were still asleep, good for me.

Slowly I leaned in and touched her lips with mine, I missed her soft lips, she didn't seem hesitant to begin moving her lips against mine and I smiled. It started as a slow and kind kiss, but I leaned closer to deepen it, feeling one of Lily's hands on my thigh.

She stepped back, touching my lips with her index finger to prevent me from getting close again. "They are sleeping right there…" She pointed her head to Sam and Gilly and I understood what she meant, but didn't care.

I touched her legs, kissing her finger gently, she laughed shortly. "Behave well, Jon…" I crossed my arms stubbornly and in frustration and sit back normally. I felt Lily's head laying on my shoulder and smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to keep her close and warm.

"Rest, my love." I said and she slowly nodded, she cuddled a little more and I knew after a while she had slept.

~\~/~

When the sun had begun to come out, Sam woke up and looked at us, a giant blush appearing on his face and his eyes focused on Lily. I held her closer carefully not to wake her up and frowned, I didn't want him looking at her.

Without a word, he stepped behind a tree and I returned my attention to the woman sleeping against me peacefully. When Sam got back, he tripped on a hidden piece of wood and made quite some noise when he fell on the ground, making Lily and I to get up quickly to look, she surely was a light sleeper.

"It's just me." Sam called and we sat back down, sighing. She rubbed her hands on her face and eyes, still sleepy and I smiled, kissing her cheek to gain her attention, she turned to me and smiled.

"Good morning." Lily said and I kissed her on the lips, since she still hadn't put her mask back on and there wasn't anyone looking. She slapped me on the head playfully and I could see her cheeks becoming red.

"We need to get food today." She reminded, putting her mask on her face and I nodded, stretching my body after sitting for hours. "Let her sleep, Sam, you watch over her?" Lily asked, turning to Sam when he tried to wake Gilly up.

"Yes, sure." He said, a little nervous and I knew he wouldn't be of much help if someone attacked them while we were gone, but he wouldn't be useful fishing either.

Lily and I walked to the river just a little north from our camp and stared at the water, it was beginning to get frozen.

"Any experience fishing, Snow?" Lily asked. "No, you, Peis?"

"Nope. I guess we will have to improvise." She took the sword out of her sheath, she never used it. She sat on the edge of the river, staring at the water, I copied her movements.

It took us a really long time to get a few fishes, but at least we had succeeded on doing so, we wouldn't come back empty handed.

We returned to the camp to see that Gilly was up and talking to Sam, nothing had happened while we were away and it was a relief. We ate before beginning to walk again, we still had a long way to go.

In another two days we got to the other part of the river we had to cross before arriving on the Skirling Pass, we could already hear the keening sound of the wind and it sent chills down my spine.

I felt Lily's hand on mine and I realized I had been still for a couple of minutes, I smiled reassuringly. The river was frozen and I threw a rock to see if it was solid enough to cross, the ice didn't break.

"Let's go slowly, it isn't large so we will go each one at a time. Jon, you first." Lily said and I nodded, I would go first to secure the area before we made an unprepared girl cross it.

I took the first step hesitantly, but the ice didn't shake and it gave me more confidence to go. Slowly I crossed and looked around to see if it was safe. I made a positive signal for Gilly to cross with the horse, she did it slowly and successfully.

"You go, Sam." I heard Lily say and he did it really slowly and I could see the fear on his face, but nothing happened and he crossed all the way, kneeling down on the ground after he was safely on solid ground.

It was Lily's time and we had seen that the river was safe, there was no reason to fear. Or so we thought. She was halfway from crossing the river completely when the ice broke and she didn't have time to react, she fell on the water.

I panicked.

**| Lily POV |**

I thought the river was safe, if not a horse and one chubby man were capable of breaking it, I wouldn't be, since I am much lighter. But when I was almost making it, the ice broke and I immediately felt the freezing water hitting my body.

I didn't have time to catch a breath before falling on the water, so my lungs were screaming for air and I moved my arms and legs quickly to try to return to the surface, but my muscles protested because of how cold the water was.

The more I fought, the more I felt like I was being pulled to the bottom of the river, but I kept swimming up. My vision was becoming blurry because of the lack of air and I didn't know for how long I already was underwater, it felt like hours, but it was mostly likely two or three minutes.

It was all becoming black and I was almost stopping moving when I felt something grab my arm strongly and seconds later I was on the surface, breathing heavily for air, my lungs hurt so badly.

I felt myself being carried for a while, then my body hit the snowy ground, but I still couldn't see normally.

"Ly… Lily!" I heard Jon's voice becoming louder, he was screaming my name. It took me a while to recover my senses and look at him, he was completely wet and I knew that he had jumped after me.

"Stupid… You could have gotten yourself killed…" I said while taking my mask off to breathe properly, still having trouble to do so since my lungs were hurting and I wasn't catching enough air. I could only imagine how lifeless I looked.

Jon didn't answer and I saw his face getting closer, his lips touched mine and I felt air coming into my mouth, he was giving me his air, he backed away just an inch to catch more air and then touched my lips again. Jon repeated the process a few times before I could breathe right.

I touched the back of his head, not letting him pull away and his heroic act became a kiss, so full with emotions and I could sense his fear as his lips moved against mine strongly.

He moved away after a couple of minutes and I felt my cheeks hot, I was probably blushing. I looked around to see that Sam and Gilly had their backs turned to us and blushed even harder.

"I am fine, Jon…" I said weakly, my throat hurt and so did the rest of my body. Even after I reassured Jon I was feeling alright, he held me close against his wet body with so much strength, I didn't fight, I couldn't fight, I didn't want to.

"Come, Gilly, let's set a camp." I heard Sam saying, but didn't look up, my eyes were closed and I felt comfortable.

"We need to take your wet clothes." Jon said, slowly letting go of me and I nodded. He walked to our horse and took both mine and his clothes out of two bags and returned to sit next to me. Sam and Gilly weren't near, luckily.

Jon stripped and changed first, I wanted to look away, but couldn't, his eyes locked on his body and I blushed when he saw me staring, but simply smiled.

"Do you need help?" He asked once he was fully dressed and dried. "Yes, please, my body hurts…" I answered and took off my heavy coat.

I raised my arms so he could take my shirt off and he positioned himself behind me before he took it off, avoiding to look at me at all costs and I smiled. I felt his lips touching my neck and I shivered, but he did nothing more than just kiss my skin lightly.

Jon helped me put another shirt and then I got up, untying my breeches to take my pants and I could sense Jon's eyes on my legs when it fell on the ground. He had seen me naked before, but I felt incredibly nervous this time, it was still very bright and he could see me perfectly.

"Stop staring, Jon." I muttered and he looked away, blushing. I quickly got dressed with dried and warm clothes. "You can look now." I told him.

"Who said I stopped looking?" I blushed furiously and turned only my face to look at him, his face was red and he was staring at me. "Pervert." He simply laughed and got close, hugging me from behind.

"Let's rest for a while." Jon said on my ear and I breathed deeply when the air hit my skin, making me shiver. "Alright…" I knew we were wasting time, but my body wasn't obeying correctly, we needed to rest.

I could see the mountains right in front of us, one more obstacle we would have to face. I hoped it was worth it.


	13. Only a prisoner

**Chapter is up! **  
**Thank you so much for reading, I hope you guys are enjoying!**  
**I probably won't be able to keep up with the speed I am updating because I am going to travel for a week or so, but I won't let this week go blank, I promise I will update a chapter or two!**

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Chapter XIII – Only a prisoner

**| Lily POV |**

I recovered quickly from my sudden meeting with the freezing water and soon was back on my feet like nothing had happened. I could see the worry on Jon's face, but it was unnecessary since I was feeling perfectly fine.

"Let's keep going." I announced once I was able to stand without feeling my lungs hurting and it still was day so we could keep going for a while more before sundown. "Welcome to Skirling Pass." I pointed to the several mountains in front of us, the sound of the wind strong enough for us to hear and in my opinion it made that place seem haunted.

"This place is dangerous, so please walk together and be alert." Sam and Gilly nodded, both with a terrifying expression on their faces, they had never been that far north before and into dangerous lands, of course they were going to be scared of what lays beyond there.

I walked in front of them since I knew the way, while Gilly and Sam rode the horse on the middle and Jon watched our backs.

"I know this is not what you pictured, Gilly, but we need to finish this mission before sending you to safety." I heard Sam say, I too felt bad for dragging her with us into danger, but there was no other option, she wanted to be free from Craster, she was now, but she needed to tag along on our mission. "What if you don't find the man you are looking for?" She asked and I looked to Jon, who had frowned.

"We will." Sam reassured her and they went silent. It would be a lie to say that none of us had thought about the possibility of not finding Benjen and this entire trip end up being useless, but we couldn't keep thinking like that, we had to be optimistic.

We walked for a few more days, the weather only becoming colder as we marched north and the whispers coming from the mountains became even creepier and louder. I was getting even more worried about our lack of food and the river was so frozen that we couldn't fish on it.

"This wind scares the hell out of me." Sam cursed and Gilly giggled. I raised an eyebrow to her reaction and looked at Jon, who shook his shoulders in response, but smiled. His hair was flying on his face and he fought to keep it away from his eyes, I adore watching his movements and features.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when an arrow missed my leg for an inch, I jumped back and the horse neighed, scared, trying to run away.

"Sam! Behind that rock!" I pointed a big rock and he managed to control the horse and pull him behind the rock safely. "Stay down with Gilly!"

We spotted the Wildlings just ahead, aiming for us with their arrows and spears. Damn, we were spotted before we saw them, they had the advantage to be holding arrows. I looked around and Jon was nowhere to be seen.

They didn't fire and kept staring at me, my black vests giving away my identity as a brother of the Night's Watch. My hand touched slightly the sword's handle in a very small movement that I hoped they didn't see, but I didn't pull it right away.

"I mean no harm. We have a woman with us." I announced, looking to the one who seemed as the leader, since he stood in front of the others, looking down to me. "You are a crow. Crows means harm without exception."

Shit. I was using my mask preventing them to see my true identity, which could turn out to be a good thing or even a bad one, depending on how they dealt with unknown women. I kept my body language calm. "Not all of us." I yelled back.

He was almost moving his hand to order his men to shoot when a sword penetrated his chest and he fell dead, the others turned to look to who had done it and I saw Jon. Taking advantage of this moment of their distraction, I ran forward, one hand hitting the chest of the closest Wildling to immobilize while with the other I cut his throat with the sword, I couldn't afford one surviving a manual attack and running away.

There were about five or six of them and we were outnumbered, but our skills were far better than theirs so we took them down pretty easily once they were too close to use their arrows and their spears were easy to dodge. I turned to look at Jon when I finished my last one, he was holding his sword to a Wildling's neck, but didn't kill him.

"What is it?" I asked, getting closer. "A woman." He said, it was indeed a woman. She had red wild hair, pug nose and round face. "A Wildling, we can't let her go, she saw us, she will call the rest of her group and they will track and kill us." I said, reading Jon's mind, he looked at me, still not moving his sword. "We can interrogate her."

"Her group tried to kill us and you want to interrogate and keep her alive? Alright, do it your way, but she won't answer." I crossed my arms after putting my sword back on the sheath and stared at Jon, waiting for him to continue, he had no idea of what he was getting into.

"What is your name?" He turned to the Wildling woman and asked. "Ygritte." She hissed and I kept watching. I saw her hand reaching for an axe near and I picked it before she did. "She was reaching for this axe, genius. Go on, risk your life like it is nothing."

But even after that Jon didn't do anything, it was beginning to get on my nerves.

"I gave you my name. Give me yours." I really didn't like that woman, something about her did not seem right. "Jon Snow." Jon answered. Seriously? Seriously? I groaned in frustration and looked to the other way.

"You're going to have to burn the ones you killed." The woman named Ygritte said. "No fire." I hissed. She opened her mouth to argue. "No fire. You would really like a big fire, wouldn't you? To call your friends, Ygritte. But there will be no fire." I hissed again, she glared at me, her eyes locked in mine.

"Tell us, Ygritte. Why did the Wildlings leave the area near the Wall?" Jon asked, gaining her attention, but she didn't answer. "How many joined the King-Beyond-The-Wall?" He asked again and she smirked. "Too many for you to count and fight, Jon Snow."

"Do whatever you want with her, Snow. We have no food for her." I turned and walked away, she wasn't going to say anything useful, it was just a matter of time until he finally figured it out.

**| Jon POV |**

I looked at Lily as she walked away, not sure why she was behaving like that. It was just a Wildling woman. How much harm could she probably do?

I grabbed her arms and pulled her with me toward the others and without releasing her, picked up a rope and tied her arms, Sam looked terrified and kept his distance with Gilly, while Lily observed us, I could see disapproval on her eyes.

"Your superior?" Ygritte asked and I looked at her, she moved her head toward Lily. "No." I hissed back. "He sure looks like your superior." I glared at her and turned to the others, that's right, she had no idea that Lee is in fact Lily. The others had recomposed themselves and were ready to leave.

"Let's go, the rest of her group will probably come looking for them." Now that she mentioned, Lily did seem like my superior. She was always giving orders and she basically decided everything. She wasn't my superior, so why did she act like this?

I walked a little behind with Ygritte, the others seemed to be avoiding me a little because of my choice of keeping her alive. But again, what could she probably do? She was tied securely and didn't have a weapon with her.

No one said anything until night came and we were far enough from where we found the Wildlings. "Peis." I called and Lily turned to look at me, she stopped walking, but remained silent. "Let's camp here."

She didn't argue or said anything back, but stopped the horse and helped Gilly get down safely. I got more rope and tied Ygritte's legs too, making her sit on the ground.

"We are going to freeze out here." She said and I ignored. Despise the intense disapproval look that Lily gave me and threw a piece of bread to Ygritte and picked something to eat myself.

"What? Were you pretending to let me starve?" She asked, looking directly to Lily and I sensed trouble coming. "We have more important people to feed, people that didn't try to kill us." Her husky voice came out with a lot of anger.

"You are the ones who killed my people!" Ygritte shouted back. "Well, if I recall correctly, we were just walking by when an arrow almost hit us." I looked from one to another, blinking several times. I knew Lily was right, but I couldn't say anything as I didn't want to be dragged into the discussion. "One of us was killed first!"

"Before he could give the order to kill us! But I think it is pretty clear on whose side the one who pulled the sword is siding now." Lily eyed me, her voice completely cold and even filled with hatred, getting up and she walked away, soon disappearing from our sight. Sam and Gilly looked to each other, terrified, but said nothing, I was silent too.

That night was restless and I kept looking around to every direction. Sam was sleeping close to Gilly to keep her warm and Ygritte slept a few foot away from me, but I kept my distance. But it wasn't her I was worrying about.

Lily hadn't come back after the discussion and I was getting worried, it was dangerous to walk on these lands, even more alone, she had said it herself. I thought about going after her, but leaving our prisoner with the others wasn't an option.

When the sun begun to come out, I saw Lily coming from the distance, well, at least she was alive and well. I sighed relieved and got up when she approached, but she passed right next to me, not saying a single word.

"Lily…" I whispered, hoping she had heard and she turned to me, without saying anything. "Where were you?" I asked, still in a low tone. "Went for a walk."

"It is dangerous to go walking around alone." I walked closer to her and she stood still, her head raised to look at my face. "I didn't go far. I see your friend is asleep." Lily replied and I sighed, not wanting to start a fight. "Not my friend, she is a prisoner."

"Sure she is." Lily hissed and walked away, sitting next to Sam and ignoring me again.

After some time the others woke up and we ate, this time no one said anything when I gave Ygritte food. I knew we were running out of it, but I couldn't just leave her die from starvation, that would be freeing her from one death into another slower and more painful.

"So, where are you headed?" She asked and the others ignored, but I looked at her. "Frostfangs." I replied shortly. "Really? You will freeze to death there. Is there something of your interest back there?"

"Can't tell." I hissed, being friendly with her wasn't a really good choice and I didn't particularly felt comfortable near someone who had tried to kill us. "Alright, alright."

After we finished eating, we started moving again, we were getting near our destination and I was becoming really anxious with what was about to come and yet felt insecure and a part of me doubted we would be able to find my uncle.

"Say, do crows have women?" Ygritte asked and I turned to look at her, pulling the rope to make her walk faster. "No women are allowed on the Night's Watch." That made me look at Lily who walked in front of us, I wasn't sure if she could hear.

"So you do it with each other?" I almost coughed at the question, why were we talking about this? "No, we don't." I answered rudely. "With your hands then?" I didn't answer but glared at her.

"You don't like girls?" Ygritte asked and I felt angry about that conversation. "I am not interested in meeting girls." I already had one, why would I want to meet other? Of course, I wasn't supposed to be with a girl and no one knew about our relationship, except for Sam.

"Have you been with one?" Her curiosity was getting on my nerves and I stopped walking, but before I said anything, Lily's voice shouted. "Will you two kids please shut up? There is a snowstorm coming."

I looked to the sky and it was indeed very cloudy and at the distance, I could see the snowstorm coming to us, it couldn't mean anything good.

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**Ygritte is their prisoner now. But can she be trusted? Who is right? Lily or Jon? **  
**Will the Wildling cause more trouble and confusion between them?  
What does that snowstorm mean? Is it a good or bad thing?  
****Check out on the next chapter!**


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